So Much I Don't Know

As a Texan I know far too little about the border, immigration, illegal immigrants etc. Living in the Pacific Northwest the subject of immigration brings a very different response than in Texas. I should be smarter about all this.

As a child I remember primarily immigrant men living and working on the ranches where we lived. They were referred to as "wetbacks," and lived in barns and sheds. I don't know what they did for groceries or if they became sick and needed a doctor.

I don't remember women and children. I was never in school with any children. I believe the men came alone to work and send money back to their families in Mexico.

It's all very different these days. Portland loves a good protest. For the past week or so there have been protesters surrounding the ICE building.  ICE sent the federal employees home and locked the doors but that has not satisfied the protesters. They say they are not leaving until ICE is gone permanently. They then built a barricade of anything they could find, old furniture, packing crates, anything.

Our son works in a building by the ICE building and had to cross the barricade one morning to get to work. Eviction notices have been served but nobody is making a move. Sunday a large rally was held in front of city hall.

I'm so far behind on this subject I don't know where to start to become informed.  This week I read about a book that I think may help me.

I don't want extremely detailed or complicated information, just enough to have some idea of the subject. I think I may need Cliff Notes. It all sounds troubling but I can't seem to get a handle on it.

Any suggestions?

2009-2018

In 2009 I made a trip to Texas. I had no idea it would be nine years before I would spend another night away from home.

Daughter Susan recently made reservations at the The Cannery Hotel in Astoria, Oregon.

We had a wonderful time.

The good thing is she had such a good time she wants to go again.

I can be ready in minutes.

Flowers For The Soul

Isn't this a wonderful arrangement? I wish I could say it was mine, or even that I was the person who created it, but that honor goes to Linda Reeder. Imagine opening the door of your home to a garden with enough flowers in bloom you could step outside and cut enough to make this arrangement. Of course Linda and Tom work hard in that garden but you can see the fruits of their labor here.

See that flower petal on the book? Bob never wanted me to have fresh flowers in the house because they sometimes dropped petals and that bothered him. After he died I went nuts having flowers.

Unfortunately I have to buy mine. I can only imagine how nice it would be to look at an arrangement and know every flower came from your own flower garden.

These I got for $4 because this bunch had 11 roses instead of 12. Did you know there's a date on the sticker on every bunch of flowers? That date tells you when they will remove those flowers from the sales floor. Look for the most distant date and you'll have flowers that should last the longest.

I like tulips but I do not like their lethargic stems. To prevent that I put them in a tall slender vase so they're forced to stand tall.

So goes my new life of having fresh flowers for my soul.

What’s Happening?

I never thought it would happen but this old gal has checked out on news and politics. I decided I neeeded a break from thngss that were dark, and depressing. I only meant it to be temporary but it’s  been so nice I may make it permanent.

At this time in my life it’s overwhelming to me. I will always vote but I don’t have to have a daily diet of news and politics to do that. Since I don’t watch TV I didn’t have that habit to break. I don’t take the newspaper so I didn’t have to give that up.

Facebook and Twitter were my primary sources. I made a list of all the people I followed on Twitter and Facebook, believing the break was only temporary. If the world blows up I can quickly reconnect with my list of names.

I’m making an attempt to listen to Jon Meacham’s book ‘The Soul of America: The Battle For Our Better Angels.’ First I bought it for Kindle planning to read it but soon realized that wasn’t going to happen, so I then got the audible version thinking I could probably have an easier time with that. It’s excellent and I’m enjoying it now and then when my brain chooses to focus for a few minutes. This is not the only time in history when Americans' behavior has brought shame upon their country. I find it helpful in times like this to look at history.

Recently I went with my children to hear White House photographer Pete Souza on book tour for his new book ‘Obama.’ That was a fun experience.

I’m just trying to hang loose these days. Trying not to get too up tight. The best way to do that seems to be to avoid news and politics, at least for now.

Food For One

As you can imagine I find this whole food thing frustrating. It's no secret Bob and I had many a battle over grocery store shopping and cooking. You'd think I would be thrilled to have the kitchen to myself. Not so. Somewhere during our 55 years together I lost my desire to cook. I am not at all excited about the kitchen regardless of who's in it.

I was sure it was in bad shape so I made cleaning it one of my first tasks after Bob died. Now when you look in my refrigerator it looks like a display model, almost nothing in it. I had no idea you could have so many groceries out of date but the pantry was full of outdated food.

I have no interest in food and certainly no interest in cooking. I can see why eating is such an issue with some older people. I try different things but so far have not come up with a workable solution.
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I'm sure Bob was walking those golden streets Monday wringing his hands and telling St. Peter, "See, I told you she couldn't make it without me to tell her what to do." The light came on in my car to tell me I was out of gas. Horrors I thought. No doubt that's the first time that light was ever on in that car.  Bob never let it get below half full. I was near the gas station so it was no crisis and no doubt I'll remember from now on to check it.

I don't like cars. I consider them a necessary evil. Public transportation is good here but trains and buses do not run up and down neighborhood streets. You've got to get to designated places on your own before you can ride it.. When you're young that's not a problem but as we age it often becomes problematic.

That means I'll keep driving and watch the gas gauge closer.

Discombobulated

For a while I thought I was developing dementia and was greatly relieved to learn a time of mental fog is not unusual after the death of a spouse. Most of the time I think I do all right but it's the little things that get to me.

I have the attention span of a flea in a hot skillet. I simply cannot concentrate or focus. I've only managed to read one book since Bob died. 

One day I counted new summer teeshirts in my closet and was surprised when the number was ten. I have no recollection of ordering ten shirts. I thought perhaps I'd placed my order twice, but every one of them is different.

I want to be kind to the earth but I never remember to carry in my reusable bags at the grocery store. I always buy a new one and promise myself to do better next time. I now have six bags in the passenger seat of my car. I even sat my purse on them in order not to forget, but still I got to the check out lane and realized the bags were in the car.

I understand why they advise waiting several months or a year before making major decisions. I think that is wise advice. I suppose time is the only cure for discombobulation. 

And The Financial Stuff

One of the nicest things that happened during the time of Bob's death was an attorney friend who volunteered to take care of all the business. Oh my, that was helpful. It would be well worth the cost to pay for that service. I highly recommend it.

Today would have been Bob's birthday. This morning when I checked our bank account I wished there was a way I could let him know how well he provided for me. He would be pleased.

Bob was a twin and the two couples of us were always close. Each couple had two children, and the men worked for companies with good retirement plans and health insurance. It all seemed equal until the end. In death a huge difference was revealed.

My in-laws wanted all their money deposited in their checking account for them to manage.

Bob and I were not disciplined enough to work like that. We needed everything possible withheld from our income before a deposit was made to our checking account. The difference in management styles made significant difference at the end.

My monthly apartment rent is more than my sister-in-law's monthly income!

I'm greatly concerned for the future of many that will be reaching retirement in the next ten to fifteen years. Companies have mostly gotten rid of pension plans. These days more responsibility is put on the individual to put aside money for retirement. I fear many are not disciplined enough to do that, and what happens then? I've just given you an example.