And The Financial Stuff

One of the nicest things that happened during the time of Bob's death was an attorney friend who volunteered to take care of all the business. Oh my, that was helpful. It would be well worth the cost to pay for that service. I highly recommend it.

Today would have been Bob's birthday. This morning when I checked our bank account I wished there was a way I could let him know how well he provided for me. He would be pleased.

Bob was a twin and the two couples of us were always close. Each couple had two children, and the men worked for companies with good retirement plans and health insurance. It all seemed equal until the end. In death a huge difference was revealed.

My in-laws wanted all their money deposited in their checking account for them to manage.

Bob and I were not disciplined enough to work like that. We needed everything possible withheld from our income before a deposit was made to our checking account. The difference in management styles made significant difference at the end.

My monthly apartment rent is more than my sister-in-law's monthly income!

I'm greatly concerned for the future of many that will be reaching retirement in the next ten to fifteen years. Companies have mostly gotten rid of pension plans. These days more responsibility is put on the individual to put aside money for retirement. I fear many are not disciplined enough to do that, and what happens then? I've just given you an example.

Death Is Hard To Plan

I'm a forward thinking person, and have a plan for everything I know the future is going to bring my way.  Though plans often have to be changed, I am usually able to hang on to some of it.  I could have saved my time with Bob's death. I learned spouses seldom, if ever, die as you think they will.

The morning of January 4 I awoke to find Bob in acute delirium. From that morning until the morning of February 25 we were in crisis mode around here. The blood taken trying to find a cause for the delirium revealed his blood disorder had returned with a vengeance. At 5:00 a.m. on the morning of February 25 he was returning to bed from the bathroom and fell across the bed dead. Not something in my plan.

This is the compact version. I'll be dealing with individual pieces of the story over the next few postings.

I've learned you cry some and you laugh some.

During those last days I would often find a wooden spoon in the bed or Bob would say he was laying on a spoon and ask me to remove it. The first night it happened I passed it off as happening because of his delirium but it continued to happen.

Finally, in one of his lucid moments, I learned he was using a wooden spoon as a back scratcher!

These days I can laugh about it. I wonder how long he'd been using wooden spoons from the kitchen as back scratchers? How many times do you think those spoons got washed before they went back in the cabinet drawers?