Uneventful Living

In spite of all the awful things that have gone on in our country this week, life in our little corner of the world has been uneventful. Uneventful living can get boring but it can also be welcome relief.

Bob and I played well together this week. I'm now convinced running frantically to keep him entertained was not good. Yes, he is still an extrovert but now he's an older and slower one. Constantly being around people sometimes causes him to have to think faster that he's really able to do these days. Short exposures are better, a chance to smile and speak a greeting, a neighbor stopping by, things that happen at our apartment or as he moves around the complex, even greeting people in the grocery store are better I think.

Having Safeway deliver groceries was a godsend. We still hit the grocery store two or three times a week but only for a very few items. No more loading and unloading large amounts of groceries.

This week we've been pretty quiet. Bob does pretty well given a little extra time to think. I need to remember not to rush him. He even did a small repair on the car this week, after thinking about it a couple of days.

He's still cooking. I'm in charge of what he cooks but he pretty much does the rest. We're keeping it simple. He's not eating much these days but I don't think it has anything to do with what we're cooking.

Weeks like this make me think we may make several more anniversaries and I would like that.

Next week he will have another blood test to check his platelet level. There was reason for concern a month ago so the doctor ordered another test in a month rather than six months. This test will tell us if he's in trouble or if the dip last month was just a fluke.
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I'm a bit put out with the world of medicine. I so fear for older people who have no one to stay on top of their medications.

Right now two of Bob's doctors think they're treating his blood pressure. They're both prescribing the same medication, one with an added ingredient, and one without. If he took the medications coming to our mailbox he would be dead.

Three time last week I had telephone conversations trying to straighten this situation out and still another bottle of the wrong medication arrived in our mailbox. Fortunately Bob knows there's something going on about that drug so he's been good about showing me the bottle and asking if that's the one he should take. I've been quickly whisking away the bottles he should not be taking.

At one point I called our mail order pharmacy and canceled delivery of the wrong prescription. To my horror the doctor sent a new one and another bottle arrived last week.
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I've been thinking some about the 60s and 70s, thinking about some of the personalities of those times. Remember Governor George Wallace of Alabama? My, my, did he ever strike fear in my heart.

Lady Declutter

Just call me Lady Declutter. About two years ago I became obsessed with decluttering. I was never a pack rat or hoarder. Moderate amounts of clutter just seemed to collect over time. I've always kept my house looking nice so it didn't look like I was accumulating a lot but over time it builds up.

Now that we've chosen to be apartment dwellers at this stage in our life I'm learning how important it is to stay on top of what comes in and to make sure stuff also goes out.

Today I made a run to the trash area of this complex to set out some patio stuff other apartment dwellers might like, another form of recycling. Keeping the patio swept is a losing battle. Don't know why it takes me so long to figure some things out but yesterday the light dawned, a solution. I can't tell you how many legs you have to try to work a broom around between the lawn furniture, grill, and plant stands.

I hopped on my friend Amazon and ordered a very cheap light weight leaf blower.  Figure it will only take a short zip with that to keep things looking nice out there. I could wait until Thursdays when the landscape people are here and get the official leave blower to do the job for me but not sure I can stand the noise. His sounds like a airplane taking off. Too much noise.

Opened the closet on the patio and discovered Bob has stuffed it with bags of cans. Lady Declutter can not have that. He's been fascinated with the recycling room at the new Walmart and is dying to try out the can crusher. I've never found can crushing to be even remotely exciting but looks like next week that will be one of our 'together' tasks, crushing cans. Oh well, keeps him entertained.

As soon as I get those bags of cans out of there Lady Declutter is going to get serious about the rest of the useless stuff hiding there. I can be ruthless.

While at the trash a little bit ago I saw a lamp. Now I see a young man walking by our apartment with that lamp. One man's trash is another man's treasure they say.

Inside I've started a Goodwill box. Will work on that until early in the week and make a Goodwill run.

I experience great freedom living without clutter.

Mr Peppermint

Bob is addicted to soft peppermint puffs.  The source where we've always purchased them quit carrying them so he's been without, and not happy about it. Daughter ordered a big bag of them and they arrived yesterday. He's a happy camper again.

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This week we went to Walmart Grocery on Monday especially to get one thing. I put that item on his list and he failed to put any in his basket.

Yesterday we went to Costco.

Today we have to repeat Walmart to get what he forgot on Monday.

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He's actually been feeling a little better this week. Seems to have a little more energy and be a little sharper mentally. This is good.

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House Speaker Ryan is scheduled to reveal what he hopes will be the GOP plan for dealing with poverty in America, that pesky problem that keeps buzzing around Congress like a singing mosquito.

Do you have poverty in your family? Bob is from a very large family with a number of incidents of poverty.

On purpose I am writing this post BEFORE I'm exposed to Speaker Ryan's plan. If his plan can solve the following situations I'm all for it. Think about these examples as you ponder his plan.

1) Sister-in-law. Widow with only husband's Social Security as income. She's just moved into a government assisted apartment. She is a case of living breathing poverty. Tell me Speaker Ryan where does she fit in your plan?

2) Nephew. Never did well in school and eventually dropped out of school. Dropped out of several attempts to get GED. He's working. He mows yards for a living. No health insurance. No money for dental care. Bunks with guys in same shape. He's probably 50 now. Job training is not likely to work in his case. He has no money to prepare for his retirement years. If he gets chronically ill who pays? What happens as he ages? He is a case of living breathing poverty. Tell me Speaker Ryan, where does he fit in your plan?

3) Niece. Two terms in prison, many times through county detention center for drug addiction. She's 52 now and clean at the moment. Looking hard for a job but has no job skills and no employment history. No jobs are available because of her lengthy record. No health insurance, and no chance of preparing financially for her retirement years. How does she get food, shelter, and clothing? Speaker Ryan, do you have a job for her? She is a case of living breathing poverty. Tell me Speaker Ryan, where does she fit in your plan?

4) Niece (age 24). Mentally challenged, hearing impaired, has experienced two kidney transplants. What job do you have in mind for her? She is a case of living breathing poverty. Tell me Speaker Ryan, where does she fit in your plan?

It's one thing to walk the hallowed halls of Congress far far away, secure in the knowledge poverty is caused by lazy people who don't want to work. It's another thing to live and work with poverty. It can't always be solved with a job. It can't always be solved with money. Poverty is extremely complex. Please don't paint it as simple.

Bob And All Things Digital

Well, it happened, Hillary has the delegates to be the Democratic nominee for the 2016 election, first woman to head a major party ticket. Now, Bernie, it's time for you to gather your flock and decide where and how you want to have the biggest impact on the coming Democratic Convention and the party's platform. You need to begin planning how you're going to move Hillary further to the left and Hillary has to decide how far to the left she's willing to go to bridge the gap to Bernie's people.

Meanwhile we have the Republicans running to the right and jumping off a cliff over there.

In the middle we have Barnum and Bailey Circus, featuring Donald Trump for 2016.

Who could ask for more?

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One thing that continues to fascinate me about Bob is his fascination with digital devices. He did not have a career that would lend itself to being proficient with such devices. 

When time came that daughter introduced us to the iPhone idea he was all for it, me, not so much. He wakes up every morning with his mind a blank screen. Never remembers from one day to the next what he did the day before on these devices. He has an iPhone, and iPad, and an iMac computer. He's clueless about all of them.

He's managed to grasp how to get to his lab results. He's got that. He's definitely got that down cold.

I have the iMac set up with the obituary pages from every place we've ever lived. Every morning he gets up and checks obituaries.

Next he hits Facebook. He does not type so he never responds to anything or anybody. He just scrolls and looks. I have him set up as 'friends' with all his nieces and nephews back in Texas, plus some old railroad buddies, and a couple from his high school.

He's pretty good at looking up odd phone numbers. He has a thing about telephone calls that we don't recognize the number. He chases all those down on the computer.

I'm hesitate to click on anything I'm not sure of but not Bob. He throws caution to the wind and clicks on everything. I frequently have to get him out of some mess he's gotten himself into but he never gives up. The next day he's right back at it.

He never deletes or updates anything. Sometimes I do it, sometimes daughter does it but we have to spend some time cleaning up and updating the devices he uses.

We laugh about it but we wouldn't have it any other way. I'm delighted that he wakes up every morning eager to go at it again. 

Sometimes Best Not To Know

The best thing that happened to Bob this week was he turned 84.

Otherwise this has not been a good week for him. Sometimes it's best not to know things. In spite of his limitations there's one thing he can do and that's find the results of his lab work on the computer. He had blood drawn this week before seeing his hematologist next week. He called me to the computer to see the results. There was a lot of red (low) on that report, more than usual. He's always kept his hematology reports clipped together but now he can't find them.  I would need to compare those reports with this last one to have a better idea what may be going on. Our biggest concern is the platelet count and it had dropped several points.

This is what I object to about immediately being able to see test results. As patients we think we have to know everything.  I don't think so. At least not immediately. Now here we sit with this report and no qualified medical person to explain it.

I have chosen not to worry until after he sees the doctor next week. Bob is concerned and there's not a lot I can do to ease his mind. We would have been better off not knowing before seeing the doctor. Bob may well be wasting a lot of good worry time.

The coffeemaker situation is still unresolved. He was no better operating the new coffee pot. That also ended in frustration. Daughter is sending him the least complicated Keurig made. Hopefully just off/on and press one button. I couldn't buy it because he would have been upset but she can send it to him as a gift and he'll think she's just wonderful.

He's flooded the new ice maker twice. It's hard to see the fill line. This morning I took a black magic marker and drew a line where he is supposed to stop with the water.

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It's possible to go without air conditioning here. We don't have too many really hot days. I'm just a wimp and choose not to run a chance on being hot.

Our jihadist recycling son who's busy saving the earth has chosen not to have air conditioning in their home. They use ceiling fans and other things but don't have an air conditioning unit.

Grandson has a cello lesson in the morning so I received a text from son asking if they could meet the teacher here for his lesson since it would be cool at our place.

I'm all for keeping the cello player cool but it means I've got to leave the house and entertain grandpa the duration of the lesson. My choice would be a coffee shop to relax, maybe read a newspaper or magazine. Sorry that won't work, Bob would be up in ten minutes wanting to know if it's all right for us to return home.

The only thing I've been able to come up with is grocery shopping. I try very hard to stay out of grocery stores on the week-ends to give working people space to shop. I may have to go against my convictions in the morning.

A Come to Jesus Talk

From time to time during the 54 years I've been married to the husband we've had to have a 'Come to Jesus' talk. Bob is OCD about a lot of things. Once he becomes focused he never lets up. It's like being screwed in a vice. I stand it as long as I can and then it's time for a talk. It seems to me the subject of food comes up entirely too often in this house. After all we're talking about two people, not a houseful of hungry children.

These days I try to go with the flow of whatever keeps Bob calm, anxiety free, stress free, and happy. I figure he's my top priority. He turns 84 in a few days and he's not well.  The problem with this concept is that I am NOT calm, anxiety free, stress free, and happy.

The man talks non-stop about food, cooking, grocery stores and 'supper.' I could care less about food, cooking, grocery stores and 'supper.' He never gives it a rest.

Monday was a trip to Costco. Tuesday was a trip to Safeway. This morning it was time for a  'Come to Jesus' talk. As is our tradition, I explained to him he has screwed the screws too tight. I can't breathe, time to loosen up some.

A) I cannot continue to be totally focused on food. I'm gaining weight and that is very bad. I'm also not eating what I'm supposed to eat as a diabetic. It has to stop. I have to focus now on my own health and diet, which is very different than his food focus.

B) Breakfast is set in stone here so I don't have to deal with that. I will continue to plan and help prepare the noon meal. Once the kitchen is cleaned up from that I'm through for the day. I do not want to hear another word about food.

C) Supper, as he calls it, we will prepare separately. The things I need to eat are not the things he likes to eat. There's plenty of food in the kitchen for him to prepare himself something light for his 'supper.' I'm pretty clear on what I need to eat, none of which he cares about.

D) I put a magnetic notepad on the refrigerator. He can note anything he wants from the grocery store and I will do the same.

E) Grocery shopping will be done the following way. We will shop the grocery store of his choice (excluding Costco). I will prepare a shopping list for him of all the foods we routinely buy and need to pick up that day. I will corner a small grocery cart and get him and his list started. I'll have a list of the things we don't routinely buy for me to pick up and I'll take a small cart and go the opposite way. We'll met back in the register area where I will unload groceries from both carts, and check out. We've done this before and it works pretty well. This week I set him off to do his shopping and slipped next door and got my hair cut, then came back and did my shopping and he was none the wiser.

F) Costco will be a once a month trip. He buys little food there, but lots of paper goods and that sort of thing. He knows exactly what he's going for and doesn't need my guidance. I will find a chair, sit and listen to an audible book while he shops. I don't care how long it takes him to shop, how slow he walks, or how long he stops to look around. As long as I'm not doing it I don't care. He can take the cart and putter around all afternoon if that's what floats his boat.

I've got to change the subject in this house. I realize he needs the social outing. I'm willing to give him that but we must not talk food 24/7.

I've got to get back to walking and thinking about something other than food. As a diabetic food has ceased to be a pleasure I live for, but rather a necessity for living. I know how I'm supposed to eat and do not want to think about food anymore than is necessary.

And that's how I feel about that!

Afternoon With Bob

Life with Warfarin and a blood disorder.

Bob's been feeling a little better since the cardiologist tinkered with his medication. I knew he was more than ready for a trip to Costco. I mustered up my courage and suggested we go. He thought about it all of ten seconds and was ready to hit the door.

If you've been reading this blog a while you know Costco is one of my least favorite stores. I despise big box stores of any kind. I had a talk with myself last week about my attitude and thought I'd convinced myself I could do Costco since it means so much to Bob. I tried very hard to have a good attitude.

Bob pushed the cart and walked very slowly. He stopped often to stare at something like he was  thinking. I wandered along with him but soon broke out in perspiration. There was no reason for that, the store was cool. It was the hot flash kind of perspiration.

I've never been able to stand in one place very long. Bob can stand for hours. About half way through the store I was having serious back pain and perspiration was pouring. I found a lawn chair exhibit and sat down. I told him to go on with his shopping and pick me up on his way to check out. He was happy with that and off he puttered.

Back home I tried to figure out why I had such a reaction and have decided I get overstimulated in such an environment and can't think. More stimulating information surrounds me than my brain can process, and I lose track of all the sane thoughts I had before entering the store.

Bob is the opposite. Picture, if you can, Bill and Hillary Clinton at a political rally. You can watch Bill's face and see him take on the energy of the crowd. His countenance begins to brighten and you can see he's loving every minute of it. Hillary, not so much. That's us.

My concern is that this will grow worse the more I stay at home. There's very little shopping I do in stores anymore. Amazon is my friend. I'm going to have to give this some thought.

Do you ever feel over stimulated by your surroundings?

Walmart Grocery Shopping

If you've been following this blog you know of the battles Bob and I have over grocery shopping. His preferred store is FredMeyer (Kroger) and mine is Safeway. It would appear we may have found a store on neutral turf, Walmart.

Walmart has recently opened a grocery store near us. It's only sells groceries and has a pharmacy. It's not one of their big box stores. I never used Walmart when we lived in Texas, and until recently it wasn't an option in Oregon.

Every time I enter this new store I have a bad feeling. I keep thinking I'm supposed to be boycotting Walmart for some reason but I don't remember what.

I looked online to see what I could find. It looks like progressives may be boycotting Walmart because they pay low wages and do not give their employees enough hours to require them to have to pay benefits.

I'm assuming this is the issue. Now I have a decision to make. Paying low wages and not paying benefits would make Republicans smile because that would be a money maker for Walmart. Paying low wages and not paying benefits would make Democrats frown because employees would not be making a living wage or have the benefits all Americans need, such as healthcare.

I've never liked Walmart since the day one went in near us in Texas. It was built out of concrete blocks, it was huge, the parking lot was huge, and the building was painted gray and blue. It was one ugly store. The few times I was there It was crowded, and the parking lot and sidewalk areas around the store were dirty. I hate big box stores on a good day and I really don't like crowded ones. Nothing about it was pleasing to the eye.

Now it appears Walmart has finally figured out it might be a good idea to build stores that blend with the surrounding buildings. I have to say this new grocery store is very nice and the architecture blends nicely.

I can't find much to criticize except that I have this nagging feeling I'm not supposed to shop there because they're bad. Are they bad for the economy, bad for other businesses in the area, bad because they pay low wages?

What do you think about Walmart?

Phone Books

Do they still print those big thick phone books? I haven't seen one in ages. They used to deliver them to your door and I don't remember how we got rid of the old ones.

My sister-in-law keeps the Houston phone books on a table by her chair and uses them religiously. That would be because she's never learned to use a computer.

Give that a little thought. How many trees have to die to make all those paper phone books? I want the people who don't use computers to be able to have paper phone books but isn't that an awful amount of waste given how many people today have phone numbers available on their cell phones?

I don't know how phone companies would know who needed phone books and who didn't but it sure seems a waste of resources if they're still cranking them out for every customer.

Do you still receive paper phone books? Would you miss it if it ceased to show up at your door? Oops, there I go cutting jobs.

Mail

I am waiting on a call from the office of Bob's cardiologist. Will see what he recommends.
Later: Cardiologist cut in half one of his medications. We'll try this a few days and see if it gives him a little pep.

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How do you feel about mail, the paper kind, that appears in your mailbox?

Mail time around our house is super important. Bob absolutely has to get the mail every single day, rain, shine, sleet or snow. If he's not able to make the trip to the mailbox it becomes my job.

Another one of those things we differ on. I would go days before I'd remember to pick up the mail if it were left to me. In fact, our postman says Bob is one of a very few, out of 500 apartment units, that checks for mail every day. Our postman complains because many residents let the mail build up until their box gets full and he has to take it back to the post office.

I don't complain about picking up the mail because it gives me a little exercise walking the two blocks to the mailbox but I never expect anything of importance to be in the box. Most days I'm right. I don't know why Bob bothers to carry the ads home only to throw them in the trash here. I would trash them at the mailboxes except I know Bob expects me to bring back every scrap of mail.

I pay all our bills on line. We no longer receive hand written letters. There's just not much of importance that still comes to our mailbox. Oops, wrong, we do receive our prescriptions by mail.

For a time we heard rumors the postal service would cut home delivery to five days a week but haven't heard anymore about that. Once a week would be fine with me.

I'm a little surprised we still receive so many catalogs. I don't order out of catalogs. I go online and order. I suppose we have to keep some of this stuff going because printing catalogs gives somebody a job.

I don't want to cut jobs. I just wonder if the postal service could not be managed better, retrain some people, run the place more efficiently. Probably too much to ask.

How important is daily mail delivery to you?

A Clean Pantry

I don't know who designs pantries in apartments but I'd certainly like a word with them. About 75% of the space is hard to reach. I am an organized person. I like everything in its place. Bob is a pitch it and see where it lands kind of guy. You got it, we can't even agree on organizing the kitchen pantry.

When we moved in here I organized the pantry. I made a valiant effort at keeping it organized but alas, Bob won. It grew worse over time. The last time Susan visited she informed me I needed to do something about the pantry because it was really bad. I was quick to point out the problem was her father (I love doing that).

Bob had decided the Elfa type shelves weren't strong enough to hold heavy canned goods. On his own he had removed everything heavy from the shelves and placed the items in bins in the floor of the pantry.

I'd like to point out I thought that was a crappy idea, but then who am I? I had no idea what was in the bins, and was not about to get on my hands and knees when I needed a can of something.

Bob, on the other hand, loved the idea. He felt needed because when I wanted something I yelled for him to find it. He'd get down on one knee with his trusty little red flashlight (he loves that flashlight) and eventually he would come up with the requested item.

It was compromise time. Time to get creative. Eventually a plan developed. I informed him a change had to happen. He didn't see what the problem was but I persisted. I had in my closet a tall skinny folding bookcase that wasn't being used. I gave him three choices, he could put that wood bookcase in his bedroom or in his bathroom and put the canned goods on it, or he could put the canned goods back on the pantry shelves. It was his choice, but I had to be able to see what we had. I left that to sit awhile and went on my way. In about two hours the bookcase magically appeared in the entry hall closet. Good thinking Bob, I hadn't thought of that.

We then set to work organizing what was left. He likes to bake and I don't. In keeping with his system of organization I dumped everything related to baking in a bin in the bottom of the pantry. Wonder where I got that idea? I then proceeded to organize the rest in orderly fashion.

Another crisis avoided. Heavy canned goods are not on the pantry shelves, but on wood shelves in the entry hall.  That works. Every couple of days I scan the pantry to see where the pitch system organizer has pitched something. It takes very little effort to restore order.

He's happy and I'm happy. Been doing this kind of thing for 54 years.

What's your experience with pantries?

Saturday and Sunday

When I made my Saturday to-do-list it occurred to me I've been making the same list for as long as I remember. Some of this goes back to my childhood I think.

As a child my mother did not work outside the home but still Saturdays were always the same. We spent Saturdays preparing for Sunday. Mother always washed my hair and put it up in bobbie pin curls or pink sponge rollers. She prepared what food she could for the Sunday dinner. We cleaned house on Saturday. She gathered what she could from the garden because she would not be back there before Monday.

Then Sunday came, the longest most boring day of the week. It was church in the morning, Sunday dinner, a nap, read the Sunday paper, then back to church at 6:00 p.m. for Training Union and another worship service. All the stores in town were closed. There was no TV to watch. To this day I hate Sundays.

These days I have no reason to clean house on Saturdays. Why don't I clean house on Monday or Tuesday? It just doesn't seem right. Of course, these days it takes only and hour or so to clean house but still I hang on to doing it on Saturday.

One rule I made for myself when I retired was to stay out of stores on Saturday and Sunday. I figure there's noting more irritating to a busy working person than to get in a log jam in a grocery store aisle while some blue haired woman, or an old man on a cane, read labels. Worse yet is meeting an old person driving a motorized basket through the store. Let workers shop in peace. I can shop during the week.

Sunday is still the longest most boring day of the week for me. I don't do the church thing anymore but still Sunday time drags. These days I can do just about anything on Sunday that I do any other day of the week. Still I hate it.

Do you feel any different about Saturday and Sunday than the other days of the week?

One Word Sentences

Meet our son Rodger. He speaks in one word sentences, yes, no, what, where, when, yesterday, today, etc. I'm really not sure how this kid got into our family. He's college educated, has a good job that supports his family well. We've been asked many times if he is adopted. I would ask myself that except he looks just like me! 

Our family talks a lot and is very outgoing. Rodger talks little, thinks a lot, and is introverted. Give him a bunch of reading material, slide food under his door occasionally, and he's happy.

I know he's more outgoing to strangers because I've witnessed it. He must communicate at work or he couldn't hold a job.

At their house they only answer the phone if its convenient to them, which is seldom. It was totally frustrating trying to make contact by phone. Then an amazing thing happened and he bought an iPhone. Oh thank goodness there is a god I said. It's wonderful. Now I can communicate with him. Yesterday I had the following text 'conversation."

Me: We would like to have you, Naomi, and Caleb for dinner Friday, Saturday, or Sunday if you're interested.

Rodger: Yes

Me: Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?

Rodger: Saturday

Me: 6:00 p.m.?

Rodger: Yes

I suppose it's difficult for him being a member of a family of blabbermouths but it's also difficult for us. He does not carry his end of a conversation.  If you're on the phone there's long awkward pauses. He once fell asleep while talking to me.

It's better now that we all have smart phones and iPads. We can entertain ourselves with those and not have to talk to him.

Do you have anyone like this in your family or circle of friends?

In Between Times

All I need now is a hummingbird.

These are uneasy days for me. Bob has not felt well for several days. I can handle the bad times and I can handle the good times, it's the in-between-times that get to me.

I look at him and know something isn't right. He is not a complainer. In fact he doesn't offer enough information. Sometimes I wish I'd been trained as a vet, I think I could better tell what ails him. 

Low blood pressure is always a problem. Sometimes he's symptomatic and sometimes he isn't. I try not to bring that subject up unless I have to. He likes to use a wrist cuff. I like to use an arm cuff. It's best not to get his OCD worked up if it can be avoided.

His symptoms now are not bad enough for me to call the doctor. He just seems off. That's what gets to me, do I call the doctor, do I not call the doctor?  I hate that. Fortunately our daughter is a nurse so I text back and forth with her. She's a lot of help to both of us. He has a few other things going on but nothing we can pin down yet. We're in that watch and wait time.

This means I need to pick up more kitchen duty. We need groceries but I do not want to take him to the grocery store with me if I'm going to be worried he's not going to make it. He wants to go with me. That man does love a grocery store! I suggested he use one of the motorized carts. Nope, not going to do that. What's that saying, "Pride goeth before a fall."

Saturday when he didn't have enough breath or energy to stand more than a few minutes in the kitchen I suggested he just sit at the table and I'd give him some things he could do, like peeling apples, etc. Nope, wasn't going to do that. Said if he did that it would be giving up and he had to keep moving.

He wanted me to walk with him up to the mailboxes. I could have done that but no, he said he needed the exercise. He got his cane and off we went. He'd walk a few steps and stop, then walk a few more steps and stop. We did that up there and back.

He's not a lot of help with his situation because he doesn't understand what ails him. He's really lost with his medications. 

I'm thankful he has not given up and I'm thankful he doesn't complain. I just wish I could read him better, or he was able to communicate better with me on the in-between-times.

NEWS FLASH

It finally came to me in the night. Bob's problem is his new recliner! Well not the recliner itself, but all the activity surrounding it. To put it in his room we had to disturb his nest, move some things around and trash some stuff, trauma time in his little world. We had to get rid of his old recliner so on Saturday evening I invited our son and his family over for pulled pork sandwiches and asked them to load his old recliner in the back of our van so I could drive it to Goodwill.

I thought it all went well but I should have known better. Bob just can't handle that much disruption. I feel much better now. I'll make sure he gets a few totally uneventful days until he's recovered.

Organization Gene

Did I say I didn't have birds here? I put a suet feeder on the tree for the woodpecker that comes by sometimes. Told Bob to give the birds 2 weeks to find it.

In less than an hour this happened. I was napping and missed who the visitor was but I was very excited.

Decided to watch for a bit. In a flash 4 STARLINGS descended and covered the feeder. I fear my suet feeding days are over. I am not happy!

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I've about decided organization is genetic, either you're born with it or forget it, it will never be natural to you, I was born with a double dose of it.

My answer to everything is a notebook/organizer. I was in glory when they came out with those. Can't tell you how many I've worn out. My daughter says when I'm old and senile she's going to take one of my organizers with many pages, stand in front of my chair every morning before she goes to work, and thrown all those pages up in the air. That way she won't have to worry about what I'm getting into while she's at work. I'll be busy putting my organizer back in order. The next day she will repeat the process.

I thought of that this morning talking to my sister-in-law. I've been in the family with her 54 years and have never known her to be able to even think an organized thought, let alone do any. For many years that drove me crazy. I tried very hard to organize that woman but it was just not meant to be. One time she even bought a Chief school tablet to write in but that failed as well.

In our conversation this morning she was lamenting to me how overwhelmed she was feeling with life. How she used to be able to keep everything together, (NOT), but now she can't find anything or remember any of her business matters. I cannot tell you how many hundreds of times we've had this same conversation, over and over and over.

Paper is her undoing. She apparently believes every ad she gets is a personal letter. Never seen anybody who could save so much of that stuff. She's reluctant to throw anything away until she's 'gone through it.' She had boxes upon boxes of that stuff to go through recently when she downsized from house to apartment. She's always sure there's a bargain in there or something she needs that she wouldn't find out about any other way.

Not me, my biggest pleasure is filling up trash containers. When Bob was in good health he would take all the post paid envelopes and fill them with ads from other advertisers and mail them back. That's one way to get rid of trash.

My sister-in-law is always sure she can buy car insurance cheaper than what she currently has. That was her plight this morning. She was calling different companies and had lost her current policy among all the papers and advertisements she had in front of her. She does that kind of stuff all the time. She jots down quotes but fails to date the note or note the source of the quote.

Not me, I hate using the phone. Find a good company and stick with it. That's my motto.

She managed to hang on to their marriage license 59 years and then lost it taking care of business after her husband died. Had to go through all the hassle of getting a new one.

Keep that stuff all together I say. No need to have information scattered all over the house.

How much of an organizer are you?

This Man I Live With

This man that I live with is a real piece of work.  Over the last 54 years I've grown accustomed to his quirks and have learned to accommodate most of them (you understand I have no quirks).

Bob has always preferred used things to getting something new. He loves used clothes, even shoes who've had a previous owner.  See those suspenders? His brother died last year and Bob asked for his suspenders. He would have taken his clothes but his brother was much larger than him. He has a brand new pair of suspenders our daughter bought him but he always goes for this pair of used ones with the food stains.

It was time for some fresh new towels in my bathroom. These towels are the cheapest in the store and on the thin side but that's the kind of towels Bob likes. Granted he won't be using these anytime soon, but I know him, and I can either do this now or buy plush thick towels and listen to him complain every single time he uses one once they've worked their way to his bathroom. I promise you they will wind up in his bathroom once I say I'm done with them.

This morning I removed the bathroom items I've used for the last two years and put out the new. As expected 'Pack Rat Bob' began carrying the old to his bathroom. He doesn't care about color. He then had to part with some of the things he's been using. That's tough for him but I am proud of him.  Looks like he has a pretty good stack of discards going in the hall.

I needed new pillows and I knew Bob needed new pillows for sure because his were in bad shape. When I asked about getting him some he declined. Oh well, sometimes you can only do the next best thing. I bought pillows for me, and put my old ones out to be trashed. Sure enough, next time I passed by my discarded pillows were gone and in their place were his old ratty ones. The ones I discarded were much better than his ratty ones so he's some better off now.

I'm pretty sure at night when I'm sleeping he's in the closet digging a tunnel under the bedroom. Where else could he be stashing all the stuff he carries off that I've thrown out?

Always Decisions

Yesterday I got my teeth cleaned. The dentist talked to me about some cosmetic options (expensive) for my ugly front teeth. I told him if they were free I still would not be interested. The teeth I have work and that's all that matters to me. I'm having a hard enough time deciding whether to paint my toenails for summer, why would I want to take on teeth decisions? I think he thought I was weird.

That's the space I'm in these days. We haven't had a pet in two years and I would so love to have one. I go back and forth about a cat or a dog. Today I was at our son's home and two of their cats got in my lap. I left covered in cat hair. There will definitely not be a cat in my future. That decision is made.

Having no pets has made housekeeping enormously easy. Do I really want to take on the responsibilities and decisions of pet ownership again? I'm still basking in the wonders of a house with no pet hair to contend with. Nice, easy, why complicate my life? I'll just love the neighbor's dog.

I don't get worked up over clothes anymore. I have to have some from time to time but not many. Just more decisions I can live without. Having to stay so close to home I don't need a lot of variety. Clothes can only do so much for this body, after all I have these ugly front teeth, and my toenails aren't polished.

Hair, I go for easy.  Please let me never have to live through another permanent or fry my hair again with a curling iron. A hair dryer and brush is the way to go.

I don't own a dress, skirt, slip, hose or dress shoes.  Nice, real nice.

We have no social life. We visit a lot of doctors' offices and sometimes the hospital emergency room. We seem to speak frequently with medical personnel.  Since we've only lived here a few years there are no long time friends. Our son and his family live here. We have only one grandchild, a 14 year old grandson. He usually spends one day a week with us.

We have a daughter living in Texas.  She's a nurse and very attached to her dad so she flies up about every six weeks to spend some time with us and check on him.  That's very nice. We look forward to her visits.

My focus for this time in my life is Bob and his care. Most of the time I'm pretty content but I do think I may have to take a day trip to the coast one day soon or lose my mind. That doesn't happen often but I've been working on that one for a while.

I'm addicted to digital devices. They're my contact with the outside world. How did caregivers survive before they were available?

Our days together are quiet. Most days are good. I'm okay with this time in my life. I seem to have reached a time when material things are not as important as they were when I was young.

Moving to Oregon from Texas was a very good decision. We have a nice place to live, plenty to eat and enough money not to feel pinched. I'd say my life is good these days.

What's This About?

It was a surprise yesterday when I opened the door and found this pot of blooming daffodils on the mat.  

A card accompanied the posies.  Immediately suspicion kicked in. Why would the apartment complex be delivering flowers to my door?  I looked around to see if other apartments also had flowers on their doormats but no, only at our door.

I'm thinking there's a motive behind this.  What could it be? I'm suspicious it may be related to a controversial parking system they're implementing April 1.  

Were we the first to pick up our parking badges for this program? Perhaps they're just happy I've picked ours up and will stop complaining. I'm not vain enough to think ours is the only apartment that will be receiving flowers.  My thinking is this is an effort to make this bitter parking pill go down a little better.

I made enough noise that they accommodated our special need so I suppose I have no complaints, but I still think the new system is stupid and will ultimately fail.

There once was a time when I would have suffered in silence but that was before I learned the power of online reviews. People are always eager to write a bad review when they're unhappy, but not so likely to write a good review if they're happy.  

I make it a practice to regularly write reviews, mostly good reviews, but not always.  I ask for maintenance and receive quick service that takes care of the problem I write a good review naming the employee. This helps me get good service the next time I make a request.

The parking review was not good but it was respectful.  I spoke my peace and could then go ahead with what I knew I ultimately had to do, conform to the system.  There are rules in life you know.

This morning I wrote a good review about finding spring flowers at my door.  Time will tell if flowers will be enough to smooth the residents ruffled feathers over the new parking system.

Daughters Are Good To Have Around

Daughter was here for the week-end.  She lives in Texas and tries to fly up about every 6 to 8 weeks to check on us.  She's a nurse so she's a lot of help to both of us with Bob's health problems.

This week-end she took me shopping for clothes.  I do despise to shop for clothes worse than just about anything.  I rank that about the same as shopping at Costco.  Periodically I find I'm desperate and am forced to deal with the situation.  It's awfully nice to have her along because she has much better judgement than I do on such things.  

This was grandson's 14th birthday celebration and homemade ice cream was requested by the guest of honor.  I've made homemade ice cream all my life.  When I was growing up my mother made homemade ice cream often.  It's mighty good on a hot summer day in Texas.

Last year when I went to make it I was informed I needed to use pasteurized eggs.  Had never heard of such a thing. It's amazing I'm still alive eating all those unpasteurized eggs throughout my life.

Our daughter-in-law is Japanese and eats raw eggs.  She clued me in to pasteurized eggs.  No doubt they are safer.

Daughter introduced us to 'drinking vinegars'

I think it's suppose to be good for your health to drink vinegar. This was the 'Summer Peach' flavor she added to sparkling water. I got a whiff of vinegar and that did it for me.  There's some things I will not do even for my health.

It was a very good week-end.

Opposites

I've often heard it said that opposites attract.  If that's true Bob and I are the perfect couple.  I don't remember noticing 53 years ago that we thought differently.  I must have been blinded by love. How did this happen?

The only thing I can think of that we both like is Frosted Cheerios. That's not much in 53 years.

He likes to eat at Dairy Queen, I don't.

He watches TV,  I don't.

He likes new cars, I don't.

I read books, he doesn't

I'm always hot, he's always cold.

I like highly seasoned food, he likes bland.

I like to travel, he doesn't.

I like politics and current events, he doesn't.

He likes to talk about the past,  I don't.

I like pets, he doesn't..
I like to shop at Safeway, he likes to shop at FredMeyer.
I like cheese, he doesn't.
He likes Costco, I don't.
He like football, I don't.
He enjoys grocery shopping, I don't.

But over these 53 years we've grown accustomed to each other's faces, learned to work with our differences, and decided we'll stick together to the finish.

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Finished another pair of socks.  Regia yarn is very popular now.