Harmony Cottage, Protesting, Knitting

LIFE

Life has been pretty calm around Harmony Cottage. Old Husband occupied himself yesterday by going through a church cookbook we purchased in 1962, the year we married. He wanted to reminisce about recipes we used to cook and some of the people that had submitted recipes. Who would have thought that cookbook would still be around 55 years later?

Food pretty much consumes Old Husband's thoughts. He had kitchen duty in the boys home where he grew up and it's never left him. As soon as he's had his morning coffee he begins thinking about lunch. He's still holding forth in the kitchen. I suggest what he should cook and help with the shopping. I only get involved when I'm called. No kitchen is big enough for the two of us to work together. About 4:00 p.m. every afternoon he begins saying "What's for supper?"

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Daughter flies in tomorrow for a week. I'm suffering cabin fever so it will be good to get out some.

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POLITICAL

I have a bit of a quarrel with this protest. My daughter is a nurse. What if all women nurses stayed home from work one day? I think teachers would be in that same category. Think how much confusion that would cause in classrooms across America if all women teachers failed to show up to teach.

I strongly believe there is a place in democracy for peaceful protests. I believe protests have made a difference in the situation regarding the repeal of Obamacare. 

Perhaps it's just me, but I feel like some of the protests are beginning to exhibit anger. Nobody wins when that happens.

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Why Republicans Can't Do Health Care

This was an interesting article, a bit different than the usual. I suggest you read it.
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Obama Has A Bite-Your-Tongue Policy On Trump. It's Proving Harder To Keep.
President Trump is like a buzzing mosquito getting under people's skin.
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Pete Buttigieg

Pete Buttigieg Is The Future Of The Democratic Party. But What Kind Of Future?

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KNITTING

Since the election I've found it increasingly difficult to concentrate on much of anything.  Add to that my tremors and some nerve pain and my knitting is limited.

I seldom knit anything but socks but I found this long ago started shawl the other day and decided to do a little work on it. The pattern is "January Scarf" on Ravelry.

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I lost patience with the bright colored socks of thicker yarn and changed to a yarn much easier to use, "Felici" from KnitPicks.

Not the best quality yarn but oh so soft. After I've struggled with a difficult yarn I go back to "Felici" to recover. This will be short ribbed socks for spring and summer.

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Then I decided to try my hand with colored pencils and coloring books.

That was okay but I soon realized I was gripping the colored pencils as hard as I gripped knitting needles. Besides, I've never figured out how to sharpen colored pencils to a good point.

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Then I tried Crossword Puzzles

I've never had the patience to do very well with crossword puzzles. Then I read you should stick with one puzzle creator. I found these very simple books by Stanley Newman. I started with the super simple ones and thought I might work my way to more difficult books. 

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Somewhere along the way I decided it was time for some new shoes.

How do you like these for sedate old lady shoes? Actually there are only two companies that make athletic shoes in my size so I don't have a big selection to choose from. When I was a child I was wearing adult size shoes and could never have shoes like my friends wore. As an adult I was obsessed with pretty shoes. Anything unusual in my size and I quickly bought it. Looks like I'm still that way.

Hurry Hurry, Boehner, and Tipsy Yarn

LIFE

As I write this on Thursday afternoon Old Husband is anxious about the car. They will send a driver for us in the morning around 10:00 a.m. I usually get up about 8:00 a.m. I knew I was going to get the lecture, I just knew it. So it began, "You need to get a move on in the morning. You need to get dressed as soon as you get up. When do you think you're going to be ready? We need to get that car because we have to pick Caleb up at 11:00 a.m. Did you hear me?" 

In the first place I dress every single morning as soon as my feet touch the floor. I have no need for a robe. By 8:10 a.m. I'll be dressed. He should know this, it happens every day.

I also pointed out to him the car is not in our possession. We have to wait to be picked up and trust me they will not be sitting outside our door at 8:00 a.m. Hurry, hurry, hurry is the name of the game for Old Husband. He needs to get it done so he can get in his recliner and sleep the rest of the day. 

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POLITICS

Boehner: Republicans won't repeal and replace Obamacare

I miss John Boehner

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KNITTING

I finished one sock today and just might finish the other before bedtime, depending on how Old Husband behaves.

I was amused when I ran across this yarn today. It's from an indie dyer here in Portland, OR. She called her business adventure (it is no more) Tipsy Sheep Yarn Co. "three sheeps to the wind since 2013" is also on the label. She labeled this yarn "Socktails" (fingering), and on the back of the label is a cocktail recipe! How cool is that? Is it a good idea to drink and knit? I've heard some reports of pretty big messes made while drinking and knitting. 

It Snowed

It actually happened, the snow really came. We don't get a lot of snow so it's newsworthy when it happens.  It began to fall about bedtime last night and fell all night.

We woke up to a winter wonderland this morning. I don't know how to measure snow but I'd say about six inches.

Son rode the train into Portland and texted to say he's made it.

This is how Bob is spending the day. He's either at the patio door or the front door. His newspaper wasn't delivered today which is a very big deal to him. He's made many trips out front looking for it. The rest of the time he stands at the patio door.

Someone Please Take Him

Living with Bob when the weather is bad is like living with a 3 year old wanting to go out to make a snowman. I'm looking for someone to come and play with him because he's getting on my last nerve. I enjoy staying inside on bad weather days but not him.  The forecast is for 1-4 inches of snow for tomorrow. He is climbing the walls.

It's pouring rain today. Because a broken hip or pneumonia are two things I fear the most I insisted he wear a hat. He hates hats. I dug out the least feminine knit hat I could find and had him put it on but you can see he was not pleased.

First he decided he absolutely had to pick up a package at the office. It was delivered on Saturday so there was no rush to get it but according to him it needed to be collected. Because it was raining pretty hard he drove to the office and returned with a huge box. True to Amazon, the item was not all that large but the box was huge. That made him decide we needed to get that box to the trash and out of our way before "bad weather sets in." I was not impressed with that idea.

Then he decided we needed gas in the car and wanted me to drive to get it. I knew we had half a tank and would not be going anywhere so my first answer was 'no.' Bob is 84, and an old 84. I began thinking about my father and knew Bob was thinking exactly like him. I got my coat and we took off. Back home he kissed me and thanked me and then said exactly what I knew he would say. "I feel better now. I don't like to not have a full tank of gas with bad weather coming in case we need to get out on the road for an emergency."

I remained quiet but wanted to say "Are you crazy? Neither one of us will be driving if the weather is bad. That's what ambulances are for." Anyway that's done now, we scratched that itch.

Of course the big box had to be delivered to the trash on our way to get gas.

Be Happy

I decided to make a conscious effort to be happy this week. Bob doesn't look very happy in this photo but he should. Yes, I replenished his supply of peppermint puffs, but I can also report he is feeling much better now that the cardiologist has taken him off blood pressure medication.

No more weak spells, no more dizzy spells, energy level is improved, and cognitive thinking is improved. I'm keeping a log of his BP readings as the doctor requested and will take that report in last of the week to be reviewed.

I'm prepared to fight if I need to on this one. I understand why a very low blood pressure works best for a heart like Bob's, I get that. My argument is quantity vs. quality of life. He has no quality of life when his BP is too low.  I'll take quality over quantity.

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I'm continuing to work on getting the shrubs outside our living room windows removed or severely pruned. Last week a worker came to assess the situation. If he'd brought a saw he could have taken care of the problem but I guess that would eliminate a job, the world needs 'assessors.'

This morning when I turned in my work order for the second time I suggested they might prefer I do it myself as it would be easy to do with our chainsaw.

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I'm back on my soap box that seniors need an advocate. If you're still with it enough to make your opinion known you need to speak up.  We have a friend and an extended family member who both have recently gotten caught in the web of bad medical practice. Fortunately both had good advocates in family members but it pains me to think of those who don't. I'm more convinced than ever seniors must not remain silent. We must think of those who may not have anyone to advocate for them and speak loud enough someone in administration gets the word. We must continue to push and insist on good medical care for seniors.

Uneventful Living

In spite of all the awful things that have gone on in our country this week, life in our little corner of the world has been uneventful. Uneventful living can get boring but it can also be welcome relief.

Bob and I played well together this week. I'm now convinced running frantically to keep him entertained was not good. Yes, he is still an extrovert but now he's an older and slower one. Constantly being around people sometimes causes him to have to think faster that he's really able to do these days. Short exposures are better, a chance to smile and speak a greeting, a neighbor stopping by, things that happen at our apartment or as he moves around the complex, even greeting people in the grocery store are better I think.

Having Safeway deliver groceries was a godsend. We still hit the grocery store two or three times a week but only for a very few items. No more loading and unloading large amounts of groceries.

This week we've been pretty quiet. Bob does pretty well given a little extra time to think. I need to remember not to rush him. He even did a small repair on the car this week, after thinking about it a couple of days.

He's still cooking. I'm in charge of what he cooks but he pretty much does the rest. We're keeping it simple. He's not eating much these days but I don't think it has anything to do with what we're cooking.

Weeks like this make me think we may make several more anniversaries and I would like that.

Next week he will have another blood test to check his platelet level. There was reason for concern a month ago so the doctor ordered another test in a month rather than six months. This test will tell us if he's in trouble or if the dip last month was just a fluke.
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I'm a bit put out with the world of medicine. I so fear for older people who have no one to stay on top of their medications.

Right now two of Bob's doctors think they're treating his blood pressure. They're both prescribing the same medication, one with an added ingredient, and one without. If he took the medications coming to our mailbox he would be dead.

Three time last week I had telephone conversations trying to straighten this situation out and still another bottle of the wrong medication arrived in our mailbox. Fortunately Bob knows there's something going on about that drug so he's been good about showing me the bottle and asking if that's the one he should take. I've been quickly whisking away the bottles he should not be taking.

At one point I called our mail order pharmacy and canceled delivery of the wrong prescription. To my horror the doctor sent a new one and another bottle arrived last week.
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I've been thinking some about the 60s and 70s, thinking about some of the personalities of those times. Remember Governor George Wallace of Alabama? My, my, did he ever strike fear in my heart.

Laundry Day

I think we may be off to a better start this week, at least food is not the focus.

It's laundry day in this house, every day is laundry day. I had not been married long until I discovered there was a laundry gene in the Bob's family line. Not every one of his siblings had it but it was strong in those who did.

For Bob it has always meant the sun must not go down on a dirty piece of cloth anywhere in our house. Toward the end of the day he usually washes a load of clothes. It's anybody's guess what's in that basket of laundry. It can be anything from blue jeans to bath towels to a silk blouse ( if he happens to get his hands on one). He is unteachable about sorting clothes.

For him it's not about how nice the clothes look, but rather that they're clean. Blue jeans and a white blouse may not make the white blouse look too great but it's clean and that's what matters. As the day wears on he becomes more desperate to find enough to make a load.

Years ago I delivered an ultimatum "Don't Touch My Clothes!" I've stuck to that and have finally put the fear of god into him about washing my things.

I never have any idea what brand of liquid laundry soap I'm using. He buys the largest container he can find at Costco, too heavy to lift and pour into the machine. He then proceeds to pour it into smaller containers to be used at the machine.

I long ago gave up my rights to be first at the washing machine.  I wash when I see the washer is free.  I listen for comments to tell me when he might be planning to use the washer and I plan accordingly. I learned early on nothing comes between Bob and his washer.

I'm actually not sure what we did those first years we were married. Probably spent a lot of time at the laundromat. The instant we could afford a washer we had one.

It's nice because I do only my personal laundry and he does the rest. A set of sheets really puts a smile on his face. He loves finding a pile of something ready to go in the washer.

One of his sisters would do laundry in the middle of the night. At least he hasn't done that but he does love to run that washer and dryer. Ours probably runs more than if we were a family of six.

How often do you do laundry? Do you enjoy doing laundry?

A Come to Jesus Talk

From time to time during the 54 years I've been married to the husband we've had to have a 'Come to Jesus' talk. Bob is OCD about a lot of things. Once he becomes focused he never lets up. It's like being screwed in a vice. I stand it as long as I can and then it's time for a talk. It seems to me the subject of food comes up entirely too often in this house. After all we're talking about two people, not a houseful of hungry children.

These days I try to go with the flow of whatever keeps Bob calm, anxiety free, stress free, and happy. I figure he's my top priority. He turns 84 in a few days and he's not well.  The problem with this concept is that I am NOT calm, anxiety free, stress free, and happy.

The man talks non-stop about food, cooking, grocery stores and 'supper.' I could care less about food, cooking, grocery stores and 'supper.' He never gives it a rest.

Monday was a trip to Costco. Tuesday was a trip to Safeway. This morning it was time for a  'Come to Jesus' talk. As is our tradition, I explained to him he has screwed the screws too tight. I can't breathe, time to loosen up some.

A) I cannot continue to be totally focused on food. I'm gaining weight and that is very bad. I'm also not eating what I'm supposed to eat as a diabetic. It has to stop. I have to focus now on my own health and diet, which is very different than his food focus.

B) Breakfast is set in stone here so I don't have to deal with that. I will continue to plan and help prepare the noon meal. Once the kitchen is cleaned up from that I'm through for the day. I do not want to hear another word about food.

C) Supper, as he calls it, we will prepare separately. The things I need to eat are not the things he likes to eat. There's plenty of food in the kitchen for him to prepare himself something light for his 'supper.' I'm pretty clear on what I need to eat, none of which he cares about.

D) I put a magnetic notepad on the refrigerator. He can note anything he wants from the grocery store and I will do the same.

E) Grocery shopping will be done the following way. We will shop the grocery store of his choice (excluding Costco). I will prepare a shopping list for him of all the foods we routinely buy and need to pick up that day. I will corner a small grocery cart and get him and his list started. I'll have a list of the things we don't routinely buy for me to pick up and I'll take a small cart and go the opposite way. We'll met back in the register area where I will unload groceries from both carts, and check out. We've done this before and it works pretty well. This week I set him off to do his shopping and slipped next door and got my hair cut, then came back and did my shopping and he was none the wiser.

F) Costco will be a once a month trip. He buys little food there, but lots of paper goods and that sort of thing. He knows exactly what he's going for and doesn't need my guidance. I will find a chair, sit and listen to an audible book while he shops. I don't care how long it takes him to shop, how slow he walks, or how long he stops to look around. As long as I'm not doing it I don't care. He can take the cart and putter around all afternoon if that's what floats his boat.

I've got to change the subject in this house. I realize he needs the social outing. I'm willing to give him that but we must not talk food 24/7.

I've got to get back to walking and thinking about something other than food. As a diabetic food has ceased to be a pleasure I live for, but rather a necessity for living. I know how I'm supposed to eat and do not want to think about food anymore than is necessary.

And that's how I feel about that!

Two Tier Planning

We received word last night of something that happens far too often among aging adults. A widowed family member knew she needed to relocate near one of her children, and was very agreeable to such a move "when the time came" that she needed more help.  She was convinced she would know when the time was right for such a move. Wrong. The time came last evening and she was not where she needed to be. Now it will be up to her sons to make the decisions. Over and over, all across American this happens.

We hear a lot about planning our retirement years. Generally we're encouraged to downsize from the family home, find an exciting place we've always dreamed about, and move there. You've seen the ads, wonderful golfing, tennis, and all the rest. Some couples fulfill their dreams by full-time RV living and travel. That's all good for a number of years and then what happens? Oops, no plans.

When age related health issues develop and they can no longer play golf every day, or travel in their RV they often find they have a problem.  They aren't living in communities near doctors, hospitals and all the things they need close by.

When our children were young, and Bob and I were working, we bought a home in a neighborhood and stayed there thirty years. That was the right decision for our family at that time in our life.

When I was a year out from retirement I looked around my neighborhood and realized I would stagnate in that environment. I needed more stimulation. I began to read and think. We are native Texans but Texas was not a good fit for me. It was a good fit for Bob, anywhere is a good fit for Bob.

Our son, his wife, and son (only grandchild) live in Hillsboro, Oregon.  The first time I visited Oregon I knew this was where I was meant to be. In 2004 we sold our home and moved to Oregon. Best decision we ever made.

As an only child caring for my aging parents I learned the things I did not want to put on my children. When I retired I set about to make sure we had our business in order.

I did not want to leave a house for them to clean out and dispose of that we'd lived in for 30 or 40 years collecting 'stuff.' I wanted to travel light through the rest of my life uninhibited by material 'stuff.'

I never wanted to own property again. I hated owning a house. I wanted to be able to move easily if the need arose. Bob's health was not good and he wasn't up to the work it takes to maintain a house.

That's two stages in life. Now we're entering a third. One of us will eventually be left alone. What happens then?

This is the plan. Bob can handle very little stress these days. As long as he lives we will stay right where we are, convenient to doctors, the hospital and all the stores we need. We're in a good location.

Should I be the one left I will make changes. Bob is 84 and I will soon be 74. I would like to live in a high rise. Bob would hate a high rise. I want to live where I don't need a car. That's unthinkable for Bob. I want to have my groceries delivered. Bob hates that idea. You get the picture.

My point is people stop short when making retirement plans if they don't consider the second stage of retirement.  Very few people have the same needs at 65 that they have at 90.

Cars

I've never gotten too excited over cars. We bought this one new in 2003. It has 97,000 miles on it, still looks good when it's washed, and it's dependable. Who could ask for more?

I'm counting on this car to last a while longer. Bob drives very little these days. I've never enjoyed driving. It is my hope not to get another car when this one is gone, but that may be a problem.

I've always wanted to live where I could use public transportation and not have to own a car. In Texas that wasn't possible. I was excited moving to Portland, Oregon because they do have public transportation.

There are a few things I've learned about public transportation.  Trains and buses do not run up and down neighborhood streets. You have to find a way to get to the bus stop or train station. If you're young it's not so bad. You can bundle up and walk. If you're old, walking may be a problem. I've also learned it isn't cheap to ride public transportation.

I'm trying to figure out my options but nothing is exactly right. I can have groceries delivered. We seldom use a drug store for prescriptions, using mail order instead. If we can get to the bus stop a bus makes a loop through town and we can get on and off at any of the medical offices we use, but first we have to get to the bus stop.

Our days of riding a bicycle are over. You can get motorized carts but what do you do with them if you want to get on a bus? I see people riding them up and down sidewalks here with a tall pole and a flag waving.

I was in a doctor's parking lot one day and a 90 year old woman came whipping into the lot in a decorated golf cart, flag flying. Said she didn't drive anymore but could get around in her neighborhood with that. It was very cute but wouldn't work for where we live. Streets around us are far too busy.

Our daughter flies up about every 6 weeks to check on her dad. She would need a car to drive to do errands for us. Perhaps it would be cheaper to rent a car when she's here.

Do you think I'm stuck with having to buy another car before I die?

What do old people do when they can no longer want to drive?

Do you ever think about this kind of stuff?

Not Enough Push

Back in February I wrote about the ghost that had apparently moved into our kitchen and was neglectful about closing doors.

Bob began to feel better and we had no more episodes with the ghost until this week.

This is what I found in the kitchen. Bob has been frail this week. I was puzzled by all this and sent pictures to our daughter in Texas.

Her response was that perhaps his 'push' was not as strong and he didn't realize it. Now why didn't I think of that? That's probably been the problem all along. No ghost after all.

You May Be Rich

Occasionally I'm directed to a blog where I find something interesting. I hope you'll take a little time now and read What Does It Mean to Be Rich?

I felt so fortunate after reading it I relaxed the grip I had on some dollars and purchased myself a new Mac laptop just because I could.

I found this statement interesting, "The great wealth divide seems to be not between the billionaires and the rest of us but between those who have retirement savings and those who do not."

I'm troubled by the number of retired people having financial struggles. I had no idea the percentages were that high and I have no idea how to fix their situation.

I urge you to read the highlighted link and think about it.

Vitality

Joyce Carpati

On the Advanced Style blog they gave 5 Secrets to Vitality With Joyce Carpati.

1. "I believe in getting my blood flowing first thing in the morning and I am off to the gym for a 1 hour class of TAI CHI."

(Right there is a deal breaker for me.  I'm not going to anybody's gym before breakfast.)

2. "I then have my favorite breakfast of Vitality--, Grapefruit, a large bowl of OATMEAL with coconut milk and my largest mug of decaf coffee."

(How about yogurt with frozen blueberries and leaded coffee?)

3. "Pick up my newspapers and read them through. I prefer the real thing, no internet news for me."

(Why is newspaper news real and internet news not real?)

4. "I try to NEVER waste a day.  I plan every day to meet a friend and do something of interest.  I am off to the Frick today.  A wonderful show of Van Dyck."

(Well excuse me, oh that we all had this option. My day depends on what I need to do for Bob and he isn't always interesting.)

5. "Then I pursue my hobby.  I SING, SING, SING. Find an interest you can love. Dance, take a film course, have you tried your hand at painting?  There is so much to give you vitality and pleasure in life.  Ladies, WAKE UP, DO IT, You will be happier, more interesting and very happy with yourself."

(I've never been able to sing, dance or paint. Knitting socks just doesn't seem the same.)

Her picture looks like these 5 secrets have served her well.  She does appear to have vitality. If this is the recipe for vitality I'm in trouble.

All teasing aside, I hope all of us seek in our own way to remain vital.  What do you do to maintain vitality?

What's This About?

It was a surprise yesterday when I opened the door and found this pot of blooming daffodils on the mat.  

A card accompanied the posies.  Immediately suspicion kicked in. Why would the apartment complex be delivering flowers to my door?  I looked around to see if other apartments also had flowers on their doormats but no, only at our door.

I'm thinking there's a motive behind this.  What could it be? I'm suspicious it may be related to a controversial parking system they're implementing April 1.  

Were we the first to pick up our parking badges for this program? Perhaps they're just happy I've picked ours up and will stop complaining. I'm not vain enough to think ours is the only apartment that will be receiving flowers.  My thinking is this is an effort to make this bitter parking pill go down a little better.

I made enough noise that they accommodated our special need so I suppose I have no complaints, but I still think the new system is stupid and will ultimately fail.

There once was a time when I would have suffered in silence but that was before I learned the power of online reviews. People are always eager to write a bad review when they're unhappy, but not so likely to write a good review if they're happy.  

I make it a practice to regularly write reviews, mostly good reviews, but not always.  I ask for maintenance and receive quick service that takes care of the problem I write a good review naming the employee. This helps me get good service the next time I make a request.

The parking review was not good but it was respectful.  I spoke my peace and could then go ahead with what I knew I ultimately had to do, conform to the system.  There are rules in life you know.

This morning I wrote a good review about finding spring flowers at my door.  Time will tell if flowers will be enough to smooth the residents ruffled feathers over the new parking system.

Exercise and Hobbies

There's a lot of talk about elders living longer who stay active and have hobbies.  I don't know if these things make you live longer but they certainly keep you from being bored.

I have to admit I learned very quickly all I needed to know about exercise, no need to do that again. Oops, no, that's the wrong answer.  I do not regard exercise as a hobby.  Hobbies are activities I do for pleasure. I do not find pleasure in exercising. Nevertheless it has to be done.

I've tried many hobbies but I've mastered very few. In my younger days I was queen of crafts and hobbies.  These days, not so much.  I still knit, but only socks.  I still enjoy reading but that has changed drastically.

Up until about the last five years I read nothing but nonfiction. After I'd been retired a while I decided to venture off into fiction. These days I enjoy fiction in audible form but haven't read a nonfiction book in a very long time.

I've gone digital.  I read all the time but almost never a cover to cover book.  I've succumbed to the Internet and read bits and pieces everywhere.  I rather like that.  I seldom need to know a whole book's worth of anything.

I was never a collector although I see some collections that look fascinating.

I've never been one to join groups like book clubs and knitting groups but that certainly appeals to many people.

I have one hobby I've tried very hard to leave behind but it's too much a part of my being, politics.  I'm a political animal.  It's good that I'm a loner because believe me people will cross the street to avoid you if they think you're going to talk about politics.

I did genealogy for a while and that was interesting but I noticed people's eyes quickly glazed over if you tried to talk about your ancestors.

The other interest I was passionate about for a time was religion. Oh my goodness, could I tell you some stories about that subject. Even worked in a seminary 17 years. No more, been there, done that and bought the tee-shirt on that one.

You can see I was not good at picking hobbies.  Hopefully you've had better luck.

How do you feel about exercise and hobbies?

Pets

Are you a pet lover? We are without a pet for the first time in 53 years of marriage.  It's about to kill me but Bob likes it that way. I've never let his opinion stop me in the past but now there are other issues to consider.

1) We are apartment dwellers these days. There's a $350 deposit plus $25 monthly fee for owning a pet.  That's enough to stop 'depression era' Bob's heart.

2) We are older, him 83, me 73.  Will we live as long as the pet?  Will we remain in good health and able to care for a pet?

3) Vet care these days is almost as expensive as people care.  Pet insurance is very inferior.

4) I want a dog but Bob and the kids say no.  My head understands that.  My heart does not.  Dogs require more care.  If I'm tied up in the medical world with Bob there's no one here to walk the dog. It rains a lot in Oregon and walking a dog in the rain can be tricky and is usually on the messy side. I have a great fear of falling on wet sidewalks.

5) We've mostly had cats and that's probably what we'll do if we ever get another pet.  Our son and his family are cat lovers and would help with care of a cat.  (They are not dog lovers.)

6) I've really enjoyed having a clean house, no spots on the carpet, no barfing up hairballs, no cat hair on my black pants and all over the furniture.  A cat would need to be 'inside only' and I'm having a hard time working up excitement over caring for a litter box.

7) I want a kitten one more time, but with an older cat you can see is what you're getting, kittens are an unknown.  Cats don't think a lot about pleasing humans.  Older cats can mean higher vet bills because like people healthcare increases as they age.

I've really worked my brain trying to think of a way to have a pet under these conditions and can't think of a thing.  Even looked into hedgehogs, now that is desperation.

How do you feel about pets at this stage of life?

Grief and Nostalgia

This past year Bob's twin brother died at age 83.  We have all grieved in our own way and in very different ways.  Bob's grief was profound, no doubt because it was his twin.  The grief process that I'm most affected by though seems to be his widow's, my sister-in-law.

You see we've been in this family together for a very long time.  We're more like sisters than sister-in-laws.  It surprises me I'm having such a hard time with her grief.

Nostalgia is not my thing, never has been.  She, on the other hand is very nostalgic.  Frankly it makes me uncomfortable.  We talk often.  Frequently she is playing music from the era when they were young and dating.  I think this is very comforting to her.  She spends a lot of time going through old pictures reminiscing.  She tells me many stories from the past.  I am most troubled though by the stories about her marriage.  They simply are not factual.  It would be most unkind and unthinkable of me to call her hand on these stories and remind her they actually fought like hell every day of the 59 years they were married.

I'm wondering if nostalgia is knitting together a set of happy marriage memories where she can find comfort.  I would not want to take that away from her.  Could some of this be about regrets?  She often advises me to touch Bob more, to spend more time with him, not to argue or quarrel with him.

I'm wondering what I will do if this kind of grief should ever come to me. I believe in looking back only for what can be learned from the past, never to dwell on it or relive it.  I don't have a lot of photos or spend a lot of time looking at the ones I have.  I wonder if I'll spend a lot of time reliving the years I was married?  I don't think I will but I don't know. I can't imagine I will have a lot of regrets.  While our marriage is not perfect it's always been vastly different than theirs.

Are you nostalgic about the past?  If so what am I missing?

Shoe Sadness

Have you noticed a change in your shoe size as you've aged? Shoes have always been problematic for me since the day my mother bought my first pair of high tops.  I still have a tiny pair of arch supports from that event.

The story does not get better.  Probably because finding shoes that fit was such a problem they became like 'forbidden fruit.'  I totally understand Eve's thinking there in the Garden of Eden. 

I became a real shoe queen, Imelda Marcos had nothing on me. I well remember the first time I paid $200 for a pair of shoes, probably thirty years ago.

Do you still wear heels?  I cut that out along about the time I bought that $200 pair of shoes.  Nevertheless, I wore nice low heeled shoes to work.

I've often thought if I could just be Pope I could have me some Italian red slippers made just for me.

As long as I was working I did pretty well finding shoes.  Granted there was only one shoe store where I could find my size but they carried wonderful (expensive) shoes.  Then I retired and the bottom fell out.

I quickly learned casual shoes are not made to fit people like me.  It's like hunting hair on a frog to find a pair of casual shoes in my size

My situation is getting pretty desperate.  Yesterday I found these online and thought about them all night.  I could hardly wait to get to the computer this morning to order me some pewter shoes. Yippee, not.  My size is 13 AAAA and the other woman in the world with that size foot beat me to the one pair that was produced.  I was heart sick.

I do not have arthritis, bunions, corns, hammertoes or any of the foot problems I see so many people dealing with, mine are just too long and skinny.

What is your experience with shoes and aging?

Style

I adore how this lady is dressed.  If I could figure out how to do this I would certainly adopt this as my style of dress.  

There's a new book coming out titled Advanced Style: Older and Wiser that's available now for preorder.  The picture above is from the book.

The following is the text that accompanies the picture:

"...I must tell you that I am not really an old lady; just cleverly disguised as one.  Art and color keep me young, keep me sane.  Working as I do as an untutored 'outsider' artist it is my therapy, my medicine, my joy, and my purpose in life.

Color surrounds me: I revel in it, splash it everywhere, gulp it with a spoon.  I am immersed in art.  I make it, collect it, it fills and defines my existence.  Childish, shamanistic, wild and anarchic, it is as far outside the box as it is possible to be.  Box??  There is no box!

Be bold, be adventurous.  Do profound things, dazzle yourself and the world.  Don't wear beige: it might kill you.  Contribute to society, and live large. Life is short, make every moment count.  It is never too late to find your passion." --Sue Kreitzman

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Material for this post came from the Advanced Style blog.

What Does 75 Tell You

Close your eyes and pretend with me.  Visualize yourself as a doctor about to enter a treatment room where you will be meeting a new patient for the first time.  You see her birthday and know she is 75.  What does that tell you?  Think about that for a moment.

You could open the door to find a nursing home patient accompanied by a family member, a person of compromised mental capacity.

You could open the door and find a woman in a hurry because she's on her way to a League of Women Voters meeting and has other committee meetings to attend that day.

Why then do you suppose so much is assumed by knowing a person's age?  When do we become old?  In the current political campaign we have two candidates pushing 70 and one 75.  Is that old?

When children today hear the word 'grandmother' what picture forms in their mind?

Due to the advanced healthcare available today people are living longer and often in much better physical condition that ever before, but has the world's idea of old changed?

Have you experienced any discrimination because of your age? I can't say that I have.  Of course I've not tried looking for a job. I actually think I've had more positive than negative experiences being in the elder stage of life.

Would you like to see changes in the way people our age are viewed or are you happy just the way things are today?