All I need now is a hummingbird.
These are uneasy days for me. Bob has not felt well for several days. I can handle the bad times and I can handle the good times, it's the in-between-times that get to me.
I look at him and know something isn't right. He is not a complainer. In fact he doesn't offer enough information. Sometimes I wish I'd been trained as a vet, I think I could better tell what ails him.
Low blood pressure is always a problem. Sometimes he's symptomatic and sometimes he isn't. I try not to bring that subject up unless I have to. He likes to use a wrist cuff. I like to use an arm cuff. It's best not to get his OCD worked up if it can be avoided.
His symptoms now are not bad enough for me to call the doctor. He just seems off. That's what gets to me, do I call the doctor, do I not call the doctor? I hate that. Fortunately our daughter is a nurse so I text back and forth with her. She's a lot of help to both of us. He has a few other things going on but nothing we can pin down yet. We're in that watch and wait time.
This means I need to pick up more kitchen duty. We need groceries but I do not want to take him to the grocery store with me if I'm going to be worried he's not going to make it. He wants to go with me. That man does love a grocery store! I suggested he use one of the motorized carts. Nope, not going to do that. What's that saying, "Pride goeth before a fall."
Saturday when he didn't have enough breath or energy to stand more than a few minutes in the kitchen I suggested he just sit at the table and I'd give him some things he could do, like peeling apples, etc. Nope, wasn't going to do that. Said if he did that it would be giving up and he had to keep moving.
He wanted me to walk with him up to the mailboxes. I could have done that but no, he said he needed the exercise. He got his cane and off we went. He'd walk a few steps and stop, then walk a few more steps and stop. We did that up there and back.
He's not a lot of help with his situation because he doesn't understand what ails him. He's really lost with his medications.
I'm thankful he has not given up and I'm thankful he doesn't complain. I just wish I could read him better, or he was able to communicate better with me on the in-between-times.
It finally came to me in the night. Bob's problem is his new recliner! Well not the recliner itself, but all the activity surrounding it. To put it in his room we had to disturb his nest, move some things around and trash some stuff, trauma time in his little world. We had to get rid of his old recliner so on Saturday evening I invited our son and his family over for pulled pork sandwiches and asked them to load his old recliner in the back of our van so I could drive it to Goodwill.
I thought it all went well but I should have known better. Bob just can't handle that much disruption. I feel much better now. I'll make sure he gets a few totally uneventful days until he's recovered.