This week I took Bob to Home Depot to see about getting the screen part replaced in a window screen from our son's front porch. It was a small screen not much bigger than a foot across either way. Just right for a cat looking to escape. Push that screen and you're out, out into the jaws of the fox that wanders the neighborhood.
I left him to deal with the folks in the window screen section and I went off to buy oscillating fans. When we met back up I saw he was accompanied by a friendly young man carrying a roll of screen material and a tool.
They were bantering back and forth and I knew instantly the young man had fallen for Bob's charm. That snow white hair melts the hearts of all who meet him. He's friendly, a big tease, loves to talk and can talk his way through most any situation.
It seemed this young man was going to accompany us to our car. I was puzzled because I knew if he expected to give me instructions for replacing that screen we were in big trouble.
As we walked along I realized he was walking Bob out to his car and the young man was going to repair the screen at our car! That's exactly what happened. I unlocked the car and the young man set to work in the back of our mini-van. In a flash we had a perfectly repaired screen.
Sometimes it pays to be old.
Sent text message to daughter this morning. Feeling a little desperate about getting a handle on my own eating habits. It's clear I eat when stressed. If Bob lives five more years I'll be dead from overeating.
It's unfortunate he's so obsessed about food. That is the one thing I need to think about as little as possible. I can handle eating a diabetic diet when all is well in my world. Apparently I cannot handle it when all is not well in my world.
I threw out the idea to daughter that perhaps I needed to see some kind of food/behavior counsellor. Her response follows.
"Unfortunately, I don't see that seeing someone about food will help your situation. Dad drives the focus/discussion about food. He's the stressor in your world right now and he'll sabotage any plan you try to follow. Not fair by any means...but not going to change. God knows you've tried.
Maybe someone to help with stress/anxiety management. Maybe someone you can just vent to. There might be a person who can help giving advice on living with someone with declining health. Don't know.
Also might talk with the doctor about small dose of medication for anxiety to take the edge off. Easier to manage situations when you aren't hanging from the roof by your fingertips.
I'm sorry it is so hard right now. I'll do what I can when I'm there, but it doesn't help you today."
I don't think a caregiver support group is the answer. I don't see any benefit to sitting in a circle listening to other caregivers tell their stories who have it much worse than I do.
I don't know that meds are the answer. I'm okay with caregiving if I could just get this food thing under control.
I can have my day well planned before he gets up and as likely as not in an hour he's shot those plans right out the window. Then it often results in eating what's quickest to grab which too often means fast food.
Next thing you know I'm grazing, putting everything I can find in my mouth.
I signed on for this job 54 years ago and I'm truly not feeling sorry for myself. I just need to get a handle on this food thing before I damage my own health.