It never ceases to amaze me how different children can be in the same family. I suppose that's good. We live four miles from our son and his family. He is our child of few words, a real introvert. I felt like God had truly smiled upon me when he finally began texting.
For years I'd more or less left him out of the loop with the situation involving Bob. He seemed to prefer to think everything was going to be okay and I would take care of any problems that arose. He's not a handyman, and besides we can just call maintenance when we need that sort of thing. He doesn't fix cars so we never called on him for that. Once every four years he drives us into Portland to get my military ID card renewed.
A while back I decided that situation was for the birds. He isn't unkind. I never doubted his love for us. He just likes to live in his own world. He's not one to notice things he could be doing. You have to thump him from time to time to get his attention. I decided I'd make a good thumper.
I daily text his sister about our situation so why not do the same with him? Not necessarily the same text but something. Perhaps he doesn't pick up on things because he doesn't have enough information. For a while now I've been 'thumping' him everyday with a text message.
This week I received the following text message from him: "You need to get out of the house more. We should see some things at the cultural center and some plays at that other company in Hillsboro. Check out that new Middle Eastern restaurant too."
"Yes" I said to myself! Success!!
Tonight he has invited me to go to dinner and see a Christmas play with him and the grandson. His wife preferred a quiet evening at home, alone.
Our daughter is the opposite. She's a nurse educator in a Neonatal Intensive Care Unit in Texas at a children's hospital. She's in charge at all times, always alert to everything. She was here during Thanksgiving and brought me this fresh greenery wreath she found while out shopping one day. I was thrilled. Never used fresh greenery in Texas, too hot, always dried out too soon. Here it will last nicely through the season.
When I got that text message from her brother I immediately thought back to the days when my parents health was failing. I lived 45 miles from them, had a family and worked full time. I would blow in on Saturday, take them grocery shopping, or do it myself, clean their house, deliver the necessary medical supplies, check whatever the home health nurses wanted me to be aware of and make my way back home knowing I had it all to do again when I got home.
I had an unmarried cousin who visited them from time to time and mother never failed to tell me "When Jo Marie visits she seems to enjoy just sitting and visiting with us. She doesn't ever seem to be in a hurry." Grrrrrr To myself I would think "Yeah, I bet she does. She's not responsible for you." but of course I never said that out loud.
I immediately thought of that when I got the text from son this week, and wondered if she would feel like that about him. I sent her a copy of his message and told her about how I had felt. She was gracious and responded "I'm glad Rodger invited you. He is doing something I can't - giving you a nice distraction and night out. Should be fun with Caleb going." As usual, she's right. When she comes Bob attaches himself to her like velcro. He loves it when she's here and she's a real daddy's girl. She also takes care of a host of things for us. I sometimes go out in the afternoon shopping with her for a short time but we're never gone long. It's just not practical for us to go out to eat alone and go to a theater performance.
It's nice to think of them each doing their part.