Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Too Young To Know

Young writers seem to be in a panic that elderly people are lonely. You see article after article about this epidemic of loneliness in the elderly. To that I say 'hog wash.'

I'm very tired of reading what the young think seniors are thinking, they have not a clue. I believe our bodies prepare us for this time in life and the young have yet to experience this phenomenon.

Bob's original family was ten children, plus two half siblings, plus one step sibling for a total of thirteen. Now there's only a half sister, himself, and an 88 year old sister. I am an only child and much younger than my cousins. I'm now totally without family. By this time in life many of our friends and acquaintances have died. I believe all this prepares us for our own eventual passing.

When I was thirty death would have been a frightening thing. I had young children, my parents, a husband, and friends. Now my children are grown, my parents are gone, and I have only my husband. Death is not so frightening these days. Then why do we have thirty year olds writing about what the elderly are experiencing?

It's apparently never occurred to them seniors are no longer fighting life. At this age most of the struggles we experienced in our youth are over and we're at peace with life. We enjoy our own company. We have memories to keep us company.

I'm excited to read what young writers have to say in just about any other field but not about aging. It's impossible to gain enough experience on this subject to be an expert without living it. Book learnin don't count.

When I look for books to read about aging I look to see the age of the author, particularly if it has anything to do with emotional well being.

This is my opinion and I'm sticking to it. What is your opinion?

20 comments:

  1. I'm surprised I haven't read this opinion from other people - it just makes so much sense.
    Theory is one thing, experience another.

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    1. Some fields can't be mastered any way but by experience. Aging is one of those fields.

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  2. Everyone seems to need a "cause" these days so I suppose some young people have taken on "lonely old folks" as their cause. I think they might be told that old folks in nursing home are in need of visitors, and this may (or may not) be true. But I agree 100% with what you wrote, this is the best time of life for me and I could not have foreseen this in my youth.

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    1. I so hope we're beginning to come to the place in our society where we don't need the old traditional nursing homes. Although, there will always be a need for that kind of care I suppose for critical patients. I'm hoping a generation of computer literates will not suffer so much from loneliness and boredom.

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  3. I agree that young people have no business writing about what it's like to be old. Anecdotes can be found to back up any theory a young persons wants to put forward because, like younger people, we don't all think and feel as one. Heck, we don't necessarily even think and feel the same way two days in a row. I can be lonely and/or melancholy for a day or two but know I have the inner tools to make those days go away much quicker than I could have done in my teens or twenties. We have experiences, education and memories to bank on.

    I dislike all books on aging! What's the point of reading them?

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    1. Books on aging usually depress me. I tried reading some before I retired and soon gave that up. You're right, life experience has given us the tools to deal with loneliness. I'm hoping being a computer literate generation we also have additional tools to deal with loneliness.

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  4. Wow! Love this post. It has opened up my thinking. You are so right: Only we at this stage know how we feel and what we want.

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    1. Right, and we're all different. Some elderly enjoy being in the middle of activity, some enjoy being alone. Surely we've earned the right to choose without being made to feel guilty because we don't do one or the other. After all we're weren't cut from the same cookie cutter. The young have no right to say loneliness is of epidemic proportions.

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  5. We gradually come to accept our own end. In other words we stop grieving for our own end. that's what young people don't get. I do like to make an effort to have younger friends. My kids don't live near me. all my brothers are alive. My sister died in childhood.

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    1. It is vitally important for older adults to stay connected with people of all ages. Vital to have younger friends. Big mistake usually to live in environment of only old people. We all learn from each other.

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  6. I guess I don't read about aging. I just experience it.

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  7. I enjoy life with some one or by my self.
    Coffee is on

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    1. We all need people time and we all need alone time.

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  8. I think it is hard to fully understand or empathize with someone whose life experiences are different than ours. But I always appreciate the effort. For example, I've never faced a terminal illness, but I know those who have. I can't possibly fully understand what they are feeling or experiencing. But I always hope they appreciate my efforts to be supportive.

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    1. Being supportive of a life experience is very different than giving advice on a life experience you personally know nothing about. I am supportive of people with terminal illness and listen to what they have to say because they speak from experience. I don't write articles about how people experiencing terminal illness should feel and think..

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  9. I have to say that I enjoy my life and friends at this stage -- all the more precious because of the losses, which have also served to leave me unafraid or at least accepting my own death. I am even past that feeling of wishing I had done certain things differently. And, hey, there is always the chance that we actually do get more chances to straighten out our karmic debts!

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    1. I'm convinced our bodies have a way of shutting down that is natural and good but most of the time we interfere with too many drugs and medical equipment. All through life our bodies are preparing us if we just listen.

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  10. Did you happen to see the movie The Intern with Robert DeNiro? Says it all about how the younger generation sees the older generation.

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  11. Hahaha. I'm not lonely either but I've always been a person busy with my life. I'll bet there are some lonely seniors out there though. No spouse, no family, or no friends left. But I agree, if you haven't walked the walk, you can't talk the talk.

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