Sometimes growing up is hard. Sometimes you don't realize how good you had it until it's not that good anymore. Until last summer when Bob's health worsened I had no idea how much he took care of in our day to day living. My world changed in a hurry but the good thing was he was still with me to guide me into these new responsibilities.
I thought of this today when we needed gas in the car. I've probably bought no more than six tanks of gas in the last 30 years. I knew absolutely nothing about the car, not where he took it for repairs, where to get it washed, nothing. You're really going to laugh when I tell you the process for buying gas in Oregon. You drive up to the pump and stick your credit card out the window, that's it. There is no self-serve here, still I never bought gas.
Grocery shopping was another challenge. Those of you who've been with me a while know the struggle grocery shopping and cooking have been given Bob's obsession over it. It's not that I can't cook or buy groceries it's just that he'd done it for the last 40 years and was in no mood to give it up. I was in no mood to take on that responsibility so we had to do some serious adjusting over that one, which continues to this day.
Cleaning the refrigerator, probably 30 years since I'd done that. Trust me I'm a whiz at it now. Decluttering is lots of fun in a refrigerator.
Taxes, absolutely clueless, but not anymore. I was front and center this year when it was time to do taxes. Got it.
I'd never dealt with issues related to our income or to the pharmacy prescription service that supplies our medicine. Not a problem now, I can handle it.
Trash, that seems simple enough, but not as simple if you live in an apartment. Not hard to learn but with Bob it had to be done a certain way, his way. I got it, I can do that. In fact I'm pretty good as a trash lady.
I got myself a notebook and a calendar. That's where I keep my brain. He had many medical appointments over the summer. I began writing names, phone numbers and notes about everything. I collected business cards everywhere I went. I often wondered if I'd be able to function as a widow but I don't have to wonder anymore. I can do it. I got it.