Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Afternoon With Bob

Life with Warfarin and a blood disorder.

Bob's been feeling a little better since the cardiologist tinkered with his medication. I knew he was more than ready for a trip to Costco. I mustered up my courage and suggested we go. He thought about it all of ten seconds and was ready to hit the door.

If you've been reading this blog a while you know Costco is one of my least favorite stores. I despise big box stores of any kind. I had a talk with myself last week about my attitude and thought I'd convinced myself I could do Costco since it means so much to Bob. I tried very hard to have a good attitude.

Bob pushed the cart and walked very slowly. He stopped often to stare at something like he was  thinking. I wandered along with him but soon broke out in perspiration. There was no reason for that, the store was cool. It was the hot flash kind of perspiration.

I've never been able to stand in one place very long. Bob can stand for hours. About half way through the store I was having serious back pain and perspiration was pouring. I found a lawn chair exhibit and sat down. I told him to go on with his shopping and pick me up on his way to check out. He was happy with that and off he puttered.

Back home I tried to figure out why I had such a reaction and have decided I get overstimulated in such an environment and can't think. More stimulating information surrounds me than my brain can process, and I lose track of all the sane thoughts I had before entering the store.

Bob is the opposite. Picture, if you can, Bill and Hillary Clinton at a political rally. You can watch Bill's face and see him take on the energy of the crowd. His countenance begins to brighten and you can see he's loving every minute of it. Hillary, not so much. That's us.

My concern is that this will grow worse the more I stay at home. There's very little shopping I do in stores anymore. Amazon is my friend. I'm going to have to give this some thought.

Do you ever feel over stimulated by your surroundings?

17 comments:

  1. Do I ever feel over stimulated by my surroundings? Resounding YES! Are you perhaps an introvert as opposed to an extrovert? I sure am and you describe what I go through when shopping, especially with another person when there is a lot of waiting involved. I'm much better shopping at my own pace with my own thoughts.

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    1. Connie, you describe my feelings exactly. I try to be mindful of situations that I think may give me trouble because when that happens I have a hard time sleeping that night. I'm too wound up, can't seem to wind down enough to go to sleep.

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  2. I am not a shopper, literally. It's been a couple years now. I cannot stand in place, it kills my back. Never was overwhelmed by shopping, I just hate to do it.

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    1. Glad to know I'm not the only one who suffers back pain from standing in place. It's the pits.

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  3. I guess I pick and choose. Put me in front of a class of students and the adrenaline kicks in and away I go. I don't like stores. I just get bored. Like you I put up with it.

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    1. I worked 17 years in a seminary and have seen a lot of adrenaline kicks in professors over the years.

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  4. Boy, Bob's arm looks just like my husband's did. Those blood thinners do a number on skin. I used to kid about ambulance people who'd separate us and I always envisioned them asking questions, suspecting caregiver abuse. LOL

    I don't get over stimulated like you're describing. I like a certain amount of stuff going on around me. But I can remember feeling impatient waiting for my husband to process what was stimulating him at any given time. We could look at something and within a minute I was ready to move on but he wasn't. The waiting was stressful if I didn't school myself otherwise.

    I'm glad you took Bob to Costco. It's not much to ask in a relationship to do little things like that for each other from time to time.

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    1. Yes, I always wonder if people think I beat him. I am trying very hard to have no regrets. I have told myself over and over this is what I need to be doing at this time in my life. He doesn't always make it easy however. He isn't unkind. He just doesn't think. He doesn't understand why I don't enjoy something as much as he does. I hope I've finally gotten through to him now that I don't mind at all driving him out there and helping with loading items in the car. Just please don't make me walk all over that store. It's a super size store and I the paper goods are at the very back. He can hold on to the cart and slowly make his way to the back. Just let me find a chair and sit. He buys the same thing every time he goes. I hope he's not going to make me feel guilty if I don't stand around with him up and down all those aisles.

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  5. Your husband's arm reminded me of my husband's & he wasn't on blood thinners. The slightest bump would bruise or if bruised would break the skin. Had to keep all sizes, some huge, of bandages readily available. He never liked to browse or shop -- know what you want, go in the store, get it and check out.

    I used to like browsing thru stores of any size if I had time & was in the mood to do so, but in more recent years I seem to weaken after a bit sorta as you describe. Think it's medical associated with being on my feet so need to sit, as I know it's not due to over stimulation from surroundings or people.

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  6. You are aptly describing the difference between introverts and extroverts. Introverts are folks who "recharge their batteries" by being alone. Being among a lot of people is very draining for them. Extroverts are energized by being around a lot of people.

    I am definitely an introvert. After being around a lot of people it feels good to go home and have some time to myself.

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  7. My arms look like a milder version of his. I am usually wearing band-aids as my skin from years in the sun is fragile. Had to smile at your fearing folks would think you were abusing him. Sometimes I think they look at me like I am the abused.
    Good of you to make the trip for him. He seems to be OK on his own once there. Maybe bring a good book and find a comfy seat while he shops?

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  8. Bob needs to be out and about, I don't. It's important I find ways to be his needs and hopefully respect my own. This morning we talked about the situation. I've told him I don't mind driving him to Costco and I don't mind loading and unloading groceries, and driving him home. I do mind trying to walk at his pace and the standing I have to do while he shops. He's going to have to respect I cannot do that. I'll be glad to find a chair, close my eyes and listen to an audible book while he shops. He seems to do okay as long as he can hold on to a cart. He's extremely slow but I don't care how long he takes, just don't make me move at that slow pace. I could shop and be out of the store in a fourth of the time it takes him to shop.

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  9. Oh, wow. Do I ever feel overstimulated by my surroundings?! Often, especially in social groups. Not in groups where I'm anonymous, like Sam's Club, but at social gatherings, where I'm partially anonymous. Ken loves to socialize and talk, talk, talk. I like to nod and smile and head out the door for home.

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    1. It's interesting how many of us introverts match up with extroverts.

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  10. When I first glanced at the photo, I thought it was tattoos! Bless his heart! Louis Dean has a smaller version of this but with rest his clears up!

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  11. I don't much enjoy crowded stores and Costco is a madhouse these days. Sam's Club, on the other hand is easier to handle and it has a self check-out.

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  12. I'm the same way. The internet does much of my shopping. I go to the grocery during the day when it's not crowded. I also get my hair cut, go to the library and fill up with gas during the off time when people are at work. It works great for me - but I don't have a Bob who loves his shopping. Wish I could think of something that would help.

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