Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

A World Less My Own

These days I feel like I'm "living in a world that is a little less my own."

Some days I think "where have all my people gone?" Actually, I know where they've gone. If you live long enough you will find yourself without family and old friends.

Bob is one of ten children and only two remain. I'm an only child much younger than all my cousins and no one remains.

There are also losses worse than death. A family member lost in the chaos of Alzheimers.

Yet I resist moving to communities or facilities designed only for seniors. Surely there must be a way to be adopted into this newer unfamiliar world, a world full of people with hope for tomorrow, people with full lives ahead of them.

There must be a place for seniors who still have hope, who prefer looking to the future rather than reliving the past.

The task before me now is to be a senior young people want to be around. These are some things I've thought of and my hope is you will have other suggestions.

1) Stay current on news and world events.
2) Read current books, see current movies, be familiar with current TV series.
3) Relive the past in private, not in public.
4) Talk little about aches and pains.
5) Exercise, walk, gym, treadmill, something.
6) Be sensitive to the situation before giving advice gained from past experience.
7) Be computer savvy. This is the age of Internet.
8) Be sensitive to when it's appropriate to talk about memories and tell stories from long ago.

I see I have some major gaps in this list. It's not my desire to hide my age but rather to display it in good taste. Now, how do you suggest I go about updating myself?

19 comments:

  1. I like your list Linda. I also find that if you ask people about themselves, most people love it! Whether it is asking someone for advice, or a recipe, or how their kids are, how their day is going, plans for the weekend, etc.

    No matter someone's age, young or old, most people like to think that someone is interested in wanting to hear what they have to say. I have found this goes a long way, especially if I am talking to someone much younger than me, or if I am talking to someone I don't know very well.

    Your positive attitude shines through, and people will be attracted to that. You also have a great sense of humor!

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    1. No way would I want to go back and be young again but I do enjoy young people. I find them interesting and energizing. I have many life experiences I can share. It's just a matter of being sensitive to what's appropriate for the moment. You're exactly right about getting people to talk about themselves. They like that and I like hearing what they have to say. If they want me to tell my stories I need to wait until they ask and not assume everyone wants to hear me tell old stories.

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  2. Right now we have our ten-year-old great-niece, Violet, visiting us for a week. She's keeping me moving, although at the moment I'm flat-out on the sofa, recharging my batteries before we go for an evening walk. She's a lot of fun and a good kid.

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    1. Those experiences keep us young at heart.

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  3. I don't want to re-invent myself so that other will find me acceptable. How about finding an interest that all ages share and become involved in a group that participates in that interest?
    The ages in my writing group run from late twenties to mid-70s and we all value each other's comments.

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    1. You have the best of all worlds in your writing group.

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  4. I like your list. Although I don't live up to them all, they are good goals. The one that stands out the most that ages a person is not being willing to be computer savvy. That even annoys me with my peers!

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    1. Absolutely. I have a sister-in-law that is so hard to communicate with because she refuses to become computer savvy. Everything has to be done by snail mail or telephone. Very time intensive and I hate it.

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  5. What you say is extremely important. we must stay current and gather new friends and try to interact with young people. Your list will go a long way.

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    1. I have no desire to reinvent myself but I would like to be someone people of all ages enjoy being around.

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  6. I sometimes forget I am old and just act as if I am not. Keeping your mobility is very important.

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    1. I don't think anyone would say you and Tom are old. You are right the the middle of everything, leading the pack.

      My sister-in-law is my motivation to keep moving. Watching her move quickly toward a wheelchair because of her inactivity has put me back to walking and moving. I'm not going without a fight. She's never lifted a finger to stop her decline. I don't intend to to that.

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  7. I also forget my age. My grandson was recently worrying about my death (now that can make one feel old in a hurry) but then he said he knew it would be a long time away because I take care of my health and "you are young for an old person."
    My VT condo is mostly a mix of older working couples, retirees and very young families -- which makes sense for the affordability level. I love my place in Florida, but not so much the fact that it is in a 55+ community. I have some great neighbors and friends there and casual coffee or cocktail get togethers with them are part of the fun, but the park community center activities -- a constant steam of cards, bingo, shuffleboard and pot luck dinners -- pass. I spent enough of my life in middle school.
    I think you have a good list going here. Staying interested and interesting!

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    1. My mother had a little 6 year old neighbor say to her "you're going to die soon aren't you?" Our grandson thinks Bob is very old but I'm "not so old."

      Olga, you have done such a good job adjusting to life events. You situation seems ideal for you. Congratulations. Not many are as successful as you've been.

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  8. You are always thinking about so many interesting topics! I think you are right on target with your goals and ideas! A common interest like the writing group or a book club or, as in my case, an art class - all can bridge the generation gap! I homeschooled my youngest two children and was teaching along with mothers the age of my first two children since I had Amber and Ben late in life. Age integrated activities are ALWAYS my favorite for ALL ages! In LD's music group, NO ONE does email and most don't even own a computer! Talk about the Stone Age!

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    1. I believe the lack of computer skills isolates seniors more than just about anything. I don't think you have to worry about making friends of all ages. Your life swarms with activities involving people of all ages. Good for you. That's very healthy.

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  9. I agree with Carole. Being interested in and listening to another is hugely flattering and will make you sought after by all ages. You have an agile and fertile mind so I think you will do great. All your goals are spot on.

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    1. I also like Carole's comment. Whatever we can do to assure we're surrounded with a mix of ages is good I think. Lack of computer skills is very isolating for seniors.

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  10. I like your list, and I like Carole's suggestion about asking people about themselves. That always works. It is true that if we live long enough, we lose those around us. So we have to find new peeps. Keeping computer savvy is important, and for sure, no one wants to hear about our aches and pains. :) My neighborhood is not the most friendly. Well, the people are friendly if you reach out to them, but we've been here a year and have only met a few people. I've taken to accosting people in their yard. I've decided I will just walk up to them and introduce myself and chat about the weather, gardening, etc. It works.

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