Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Monday, July 4, 2016

A Future Move

It has occurred to me you probably think all I do is talk about moving, making life changes, and decluttering. Perhaps a little explanation is in order.

When we came to Oregon twelve years ago we came with no intention of buying property. Given our situation it seemed apartment living was the best option. We've not regretted that decision but things are beginning to change for us and I'm trying to look ahead to have options when the time comes that we need to make a change.

Bob is 84 and in declining health. We plan to stay right where we are as long as possible. I do not want to put him through another move, too much change. Doubt he could handle that.

We love this apartment, our family loves this apartment, it's lovely. There was a time I thought perhaps my income as a widow would be sufficient for me to stay here into the future. That has changed. Last year the rent went up $300 a month, this year $135 a month, making it unlikely I could stay here alone.

It seems rent is very expensive everywhere now and especially on the west coast. Added to that, we happened to have located ourselves in an area of economic boom where people are moving in great numbers for hi-tech employment. It's a lovely area but you have to pay for that. I think the saying about real estate is location, location, location.

Even with all the rent hikes we're still well within the 30% federal government suggestion for housing cost so we aren't complaining. It does however give me pause to think. Given Bob's health decline and the increase in rent in this area I am now actively keeping an eye out for other housing options.

Now you can understand my constant focus on decluttering. No doubt housing will be smaller when I make another move. Daughter says if I'm widowed and can't afford this apartment she is going to pick up the difference because she loves the idea of having her own bedroom and bath and she's here often during the year both to see us and to have some down time away from the stress of her job.

To say the least my future is not stable. That doesn't worry me because I know I have the income to find something else I will enjoy. I like change. I usually am energized by it.

I own no valuable antiques, family heirlooms, artwork, music equipment or anything that would give me pause when moving. Furniture comes and goes with me these days. Whatever looks good where I'm living is what stays, the rest goes.

I'm keeping it simple and easy.

22 comments:

  1. Your approach is very practical. You may not have to make those choices but at least you're prepared for something.

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    1. I have a sister-in-law who never sees past the end of her nose and has consistently made bad choices through out her life. Particularly bad financial decisions. Watching her has given me the momentum to look and plan ahead.

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  2. You are a long range-planner like I am, but unlike you I do love my antiques, family heirlooms and artwork. I downsized my heart out after my husband's stroke to move from two houses and a 100' poll building to one house but the next downsizing will be painful. I admire you your lack of attachment to things and your daughter's offer of a backup plan should you not be able to find something smaller and cheaper.

    One of the hardest lessons for a caregiver in your situation to do is to learn to live in the moment and make the most of the quality time you still have RIGHT NOW with your husband, which can turn on a dime at any time. Memory building in the present and letting the future take care of itself was my motto and not easy for a long-range planner, but I did it with no regrets. Caregiving comes to an end at some point and you will have way too much time, then, to move on.

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  3. We're off this morning to make memories crushing cans at Walmart. I have to admit I often feel like I'm again caregiver to my father. My father lived with us for a period of time before his death at 82. Bob is now 84 and many things are very similar. I'm 10 years younger than Bob.

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    1. I shared care of my dad for five years before my husband's stroke, so I know exactly what you mean. Trust me, making memories, even can crushing memories will make a difference some day.

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  4. Bob may surprise you and live a good long while yet. It is amazing just how much the human body can endure.

    I will leave all the sorting for the kids, it may sound lazy, but I don't know which artwork they really want, or which antiques they want. My DIL has already said that when I die - (remember hearing this when the kids were little?) she wants the Jardiniere. The thing, is most want it. Sigh. So many things I have one of, I would much rather find an antique dealer, but I don't want to hear the flack. The kids are complacent as long as they think they are in the running. I think if DH went first, I might have an easier time getting rid of things. Even he wants some of it. Ha Ha, but I think he wants it for his son and not the other jerk's kids.

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    1. You are so right. Bob might indeed live several more years and I'm certainly good with that as long as he's able to enjoy life. We just never know what will come our way in life.

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  5. Linda, I think you will be just fine and your next living situation will be just as good because you practice flexibility. Let's face it, that is one of the hard parts of getting old. We want everything to stay just like we want it and life simply isn't that way. You have showed that you will figure out how to make your life work when it goes off track. So I say decluttering and preplanning is a good thing. A little bit at a time is much easier than figuring it all out at once.

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    1. A little bit at a time is my motto. I'm the same way in looking at other options. A little here and there is so much better than doing everything at once. I need time to mull things over.

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  6. I'm always impressed by your practicality and healthy attitude. It's good to be able to look to the future with a positive outlook.

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    1. I'm trying to spend the rest of my days mentally and materially uncluttered. Even that takes planning.

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  7. I tell my kids I am keeping all my stuff for as long as I can!! When the time comes - they can take what they want and then have someone come in and sell the rest then divide the proceeds! Actually, I give the kids things they want now when I know what it is! Also if I go before LD - I warn them to come get what they want ASAP! His housekeeping will not be good!!! Amber says she will hire a housekeeper FOR him!!

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    1. You have a good attitude and I doubt any of your children would want you to declutter. Goodness sakes, who would you be without your debris. I have a friend that keeps the family silver under a bed. I warn her she needs to be sure her children know that because her children will surely hire someone to come in and scoop her belongings out the upstairs windows into one of those long containers like you put old roofing when roofing a house. As long as the children know where the family valuables are located the rest is easy to deal with if you have the ability to walk out the door and not look back which is exactly what I did after my parents died. Estate sale people will love your stuff. You go girl.

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  8. I agree it is good to be thinking about the future. I think it helps to feel more in control when we think about our different options as we age. Sounds like you have a wonderfully supportive daughter. She will be there to help ease you through transitions.

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    1. I'm perfectly content with where we live. I'd be happy to stay here several more years but the rent could become prohibitive. It isn't only that I could be widowed. I think some knowledge of other options is in order. Any time you rent you should keep a watchful eye on what's available in your area.

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  9. I think you are very fortunate to be able to embrace change. Let's face it, change is gonna happen whether we are ready or not.

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    1. I'm much younger than all my cousins. I watched all of them die without embracing change and some of them made it very difficult for their loved ones. I determined I did not want to do that.

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  10. We have a lot of stuff. I still love it and want to keep it. I guess we'll have to stay put for a while.
    Your way sounds lots easier, but I'm not there yet.

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    1. We all have our own way. I'd say you and Tom are in a very different place in life than we are at this time. I see why you love your 'stuff.' I love reading your blog and seeing pictures of it. It's obviously not time for you to cut back on your activities. Go girl, I enjoy reading about all your activities.

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  11. The way you adjust and change daily shows how flexible you are and I am sure any move will not be traumatic for you. You seem so able to "go with the flow". A plan B is never a bad idea. Hopefully you are years away from having to implement such a change.

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    1. I just feel more secure with a Plan B. I also enjoy the present more if I have a Plan B in place.

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  12. You are so resilient and flexible. It's hard for most people not to worry when the future is not stable, but planning ahead helps a lot.

    I am big on decluttering. I wasn't always, but I've learned that lesson. When we lived in MD and our son was young, I accumulated so much stuff. When we left MD, that was the most difficult move we ever made. I swore I would never let that happen again. I made sure that we got rid of everything we wouldn't need in the new house. It made the move so much easier.

    It's good for you to explore your options before you're forced to do anything. My experience is that the landing is a lot softer if we've prepared. I know we cannot foresee every eventuality in life what, but it never hurts to give it some thought.

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