Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Looking For A Girlfriend

I can now say I had a melt down yesterday but am feeling much better about my situation today.
__________________________________

I have decided the only solution to my problem with Bob is to find him a girlfriend. I'm looking for a nice lady, about 85, who's still driving, and loves grocery stores as much as he does. She needs to move at a slow pace like him, and stop often to think.

I can see them now, side by side blocking aisles as they slowly make their way through the store totally oblivious to the shoppers backed up behind them. Lost in their own world discussing the price of groceries in the good old days.

The only other thing I can think of is a  Big Brother type organization who could organize grocery store play dates for seniors. That might work.

I've always admired former Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. I thought of her today. When her husband became lost in the world of Alzheimers she placed him in a care facility and  visited often. On one of her visits he introduced her to his girlfriend.

As you can imagine Justice O'Connor never blinked. She and her sons discussed this new love in his life and fully embraced her.
____________________________________

Yesterday we made waffles and that was very successful. Bob loves waffles and we haven't had a waffle iron in years. He just eats the ones you pop in the toaster. After he talked several times about a waffle iron I purchased one.

I thought he might be confident enough to strike out on his own but that didn't happen. Together we made waffles and he did very well. I think this is something he can do by himself.
_____________________________________


This morning 'we' assembled an oscillating fan. He thought he could do it but saw that he couldn't. Sat down on the bed by me last night and told me he wanted to but he couldn't. I told him perhaps we could do it together. Two brains are usually better than one.  Got that done and he's pleased.

Life has been good today.

19 comments:

  1. Love this post! Humor always helps. Glad you're feeling better today. There are definitely ups and downs in the world of caregiving. I was thinking earlier today about all the things I miss (traveling more, in-depth conversations, not having to filter what I say etc). But then I realized it's better to focus on what I DO have. Good health, husband who adores me, my memory, and the list goes on.

    Your posts are great. I don't know how you manage to come up with such great stuff on a daily basis!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I try to be positive because I know being negative doesn't help either one of us. Being able to vent on this blog helps. Our daughter is a wonderful resource and good at talking me off the ledge. I could have it so much worse. I'm thankful every day things are as well as they are.

      Delete
  2. Oh, great idea! A girl friend for Bob!
    And seriously, you might consider a respite care provider who could take Bob to the store while you stay home.
    Considering our weather today, you got that fan put together just in time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susan is flying in on the 16th. A friend is coming with her who hasn't seen Bob in two years. We will be doing a lot of talking about our situation no doubt. I'm all for those respite care providers. I think he'd enjoy showing one around 'his' grocery store. I need to get in contact with some of the senior services agencies and see what's out there.

      Delete
  3. You are going to have meltdowns but your sense of humor will get you through the bad times. Irrational is irrational. It's hard to deal with it. One time I visited my Dad in the nursing home and he wanted to put the horses in the barn but he couldn't find the barn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, I've been there with my dad. I expect that time's coming with Bob. We had an incident of lost dentures this week that were in plain sight in his bathroom. It's just such a flip flop of roles for the two of us.

      Delete
  4. I am so admiring your patience, humor and kindness, Linda.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never know what you can do until you have to do it. I would never have believed I could do the things I've done the last year and I have a feeling I have a lot more to come.

      Delete
  5. What fanciful things we conjure in our minds when we just don't know what to do. I would guess I am getting the best side of the wishbone - I will be gone or gaga, before DH loses a grip.
    They do have 'babysitters' around to give the carers a break. Would be money well spent, I'd say.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm looking forward to daughter's visit. I value her observations and her advice. I want to remain open to any options available

      Delete
  6. I don't think Bob is there YET, but you might start researching to see if there are any adult day care/respite places near-by. Some are better than others at keeping people busy and happy for a few hours so their spouse can get off by themselves. A friend of ours went twice a week and actually loved going "to see his buddies." Many of these place charge on a sliding scale and are affordable.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's exactly what Bob needs, a bunch of buddies to meet for coffee. Don't know what's out here but there's such a group meets at a drugstore in downtown Hillsboro but they've all known each other for years. It wouldn't be easy to jump into that group. But the idea is perfect. I'll keep my eyes open.

      Delete
  7. A girlfriend just might be the answer! I admired Sandra Day O'Connor's handling of her situation, too. What grace. I like Jean R's suggestion above. Hope you look into it, Linda.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm planning a nice day today. Here's hoping all goes well. It's only on those kind of days I'm able to 'think.'

      Delete
  8. You are pretty amazing! I love the Girlfriend Story! I never knew that about the judge!
    I admire your determination to find ways of coping.....both for you and your husband. I'm super impressed about the waffle iron! They intimidate me!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes I feel like you must feel trying to think of activities to keep the quads occupied.

      Rub just a tiny big of oil over the waffle iron before you cook the first waffle. Only that one time. When finished don't let soapy water near your waffle iron. Treat it like an iron skillet, rub it clean with a dry cloth when you're finished and you'll have no sticking.

      Delete
  9. Oh, Linda. A girlfriend...and the blocking of the aisles. So funny. Keep that sense of humor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm trying. Better than crying.

      Delete
  10. You do such a great job of handling a situation that has no handbook to go by. I hope that there are some solutions out there to help you and I'll be very interested to hear about what you find that did or didn't work.

    ReplyDelete