Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Two Tier Planning

We received word last night of something that happens far too often among aging adults. A widowed family member knew she needed to relocate near one of her children, and was very agreeable to such a move "when the time came" that she needed more help.  She was convinced she would know when the time was right for such a move. Wrong. The time came last evening and she was not where she needed to be. Now it will be up to her sons to make the decisions. Over and over, all across American this happens.

We hear a lot about planning our retirement years. Generally we're encouraged to downsize from the family home, find an exciting place we've always dreamed about, and move there. You've seen the ads, wonderful golfing, tennis, and all the rest. Some couples fulfill their dreams by full-time RV living and travel. That's all good for a number of years and then what happens? Oops, no plans.

When age related health issues develop and they can no longer play golf every day, or travel in their RV they often find they have a problem.  They aren't living in communities near doctors, hospitals and all the things they need close by.

When our children were young, and Bob and I were working, we bought a home in a neighborhood and stayed there thirty years. That was the right decision for our family at that time in our life.

When I was a year out from retirement I looked around my neighborhood and realized I would stagnate in that environment. I needed more stimulation. I began to read and think. We are native Texans but Texas was not a good fit for me. It was a good fit for Bob, anywhere is a good fit for Bob.

Our son, his wife, and son (only grandchild) live in Hillsboro, Oregon.  The first time I visited Oregon I knew this was where I was meant to be. In 2004 we sold our home and moved to Oregon. Best decision we ever made.

As an only child caring for my aging parents I learned the things I did not want to put on my children. When I retired I set about to make sure we had our business in order.

I did not want to leave a house for them to clean out and dispose of that we'd lived in for 30 or 40 years collecting 'stuff.' I wanted to travel light through the rest of my life uninhibited by material 'stuff.'

I never wanted to own property again. I hated owning a house. I wanted to be able to move easily if the need arose. Bob's health was not good and he wasn't up to the work it takes to maintain a house.

That's two stages in life. Now we're entering a third. One of us will eventually be left alone. What happens then?

This is the plan. Bob can handle very little stress these days. As long as he lives we will stay right where we are, convenient to doctors, the hospital and all the stores we need. We're in a good location.

Should I be the one left I will make changes. Bob is 84 and I will soon be 74. I would like to live in a high rise. Bob would hate a high rise. I want to live where I don't need a car. That's unthinkable for Bob. I want to have my groceries delivered. Bob hates that idea. You get the picture.

My point is people stop short when making retirement plans if they don't consider the second stage of retirement.  Very few people have the same needs at 65 that they have at 90.

14 comments:

  1. Your planning at each stage is impressive. I know you didn't write this post to impress, but I'm impressed. Where Ken and I are right now in our lives is ideal. Ken has his hobbies, his workshop, everything he needs to keep himself busy. ( At the moment he's on our deck, installing a new screen/storm door.) I have a vegetable garden, a flower garden,...and my knitting. Yes, this location is ideal for us at the moment, but the minute the health of one of us fails, it will no longer be ideal. I think of this often. We need a plan.

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    1. Yes you do need a plan. Doesn't mean you have to make a change right now but you would be wise to have in mind what you will do when one of you is left alone. Like Bob and I, you may want very different things. I'm always keeping an eye out to what new buildings are going up, what's going in those buildings, we have so much building going on right now in Oregon it's hard to imagine. I'm watching all these apartment buildings going up and thinking about what's located around them within walking distance, how close are they to public transportation etc. I don't want to have to start from ground zero if I'm the one left alone. I have to have a plan.

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  2. You are so right about all of this. I was thinking about moving to a local where housing and the cost of living was cheaper. At 66 I probably still have a good deal of time. However, if I move away from my daughter who will be my keeper and organizer, then the job will be harder. My mother lived a 2.5 hour drive from my sister and I and she refused to move back here. I know she was happy in place but what her being so far away meant when she needed food, doctor or even friendship was way to difficult. I don't want to be that burden on my children. So I am doing a lot of thinking on how to plan all of this.

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    1. The lower the income the more important it is to plan ahead. Sometimes it takes some creative thinking. I'm thinking today about how much care is going to cost for this family member who went into crisis last night. A small fortune I think. Something I seriously doubt she planned for. I'm always looking to the future. Don't want to be taken by surprise.

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  3. Our plans are kind of up in the air now. We have already moved into the smaller house, but still have too much stuff. About 9 or 10 years ago, the doctor didn't see me living more than 5 years unless I had a transplant. I opted out of the transplant as I have too many other things wrong with me. Somehow, I am still around. DH says he will sell everything when I'm gone and move somewhere else. I guess that's about as much planning as we have. I don't see us having the problems that most people have. DH still has some years to go before he is retirement age.

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    1. Sounds like you know what works for you.

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  4. Clearly we could never be roommates. LOL I would hate not owning my own home, not driving and not shopping. I was seriously considering a move last summer but it makes no sense to move away from my current township with their very active senior hall when there is nothing like it in the county closer to my nieces and nephew (no kids). And my house is designed perfectly for aging in place and that's a hard feature to find around here, so I'll stay a few more years.

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    1. Everybody has to make their own plans. What works for one doesn't work for another.

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  5. You are poking me to do something we are not ready to do yet. We know that here will come a time when we have to give up our house. We don't know when that will be or what the next situation will be. We are already near our kids and stores and medical facilities, but not without a car. We are soon to be 75 and 72. We think we have a few more years here yet.

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    1. Planning for the future doesn't mean you have to change what you're doing today. We're not making any changes anytime soon, that I know of, but when the time does come for a change I won't be starting from zero. I like to have a plan. I like to have some idea what my options are. If I have this on my to-do-list my brain is alert to any information that applies to the subject. Best way to reach a goal. It worked for me in our move from Texas to Oregon and I hope it will serve me well for what my options may be in the future. You own a house. You could conceivably stay there and never have to make a change. I'm an apartment dweller. I know there will be moves in my future. I want them to be good moves.

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  6. You wanna make God laugh -- make plans. I do have plans, although they seem to fall into place in rather willy-nilly manner sometimes.

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    1. I make God laugh a lot. Having a goal is the most important thing. I often have to change and edit my plans for achieving a goal but I feel I'm still better off than starting from zero.

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  7. You have poked at a thought I have been thinking about and keep thinking I'll do something about it tomorrow. I really do need to think about that next stage. Thanks for the prod.

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    1. Doesn't mean it has to be done today but if your situation should change suddenly it's nice to have a plan.

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