Rhododendron time in Oregon
Somewhere in our DNA we've apparently been programed to fear death. Everything in our society supports that fear.
If we should be fortunate to live a long life we will have to find the courage to die in a society that doesn't want to talk about it.
Doctors are often uncomfortable dealing with death because they've been trained to heal. Families do not want to talk about death. Many times friends do not want to talk about death.
Personally I think it's better to face death while you still have some years to live and enjoy life. Once that's done you're free to enjoy living until the end with no worries. Bob had a heart attack more than twenty years ago. Once he had recovered we talked about death, expressed our wishes to each other and to our children. Since that time it's never been an issue.
We're all very different in what brings us closure. I did traditional funerals for my parents because that was what was culturally acceptable to them, their church and community.
I am so happy to be living in the Pacific Northwest where there's not so much pressure to have funerals. We have a grandchild and daughter-in-law who lean toward the Buddhist tradition. There will be no funerals for either of us. Cremation is our choice. Our son has a shelf in his closet where he keeps the ashes of their deceased cats. I'm fine with our ashes going on the shelf with the cat ashes.
I once knew a professor who made elaborate plans for his funeral and through the years his secretary would be called on to update those plans. Sometimes an intended pallbearer would die before the professor and a new name would need to be inserted.
I encourage you to think about your own death and discuss your wishes with your family. It's not nearly as hard on everyone if you do it while you're still planning to live several years as it is to wait until death is near. That's unfair to your loved ones.