Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Am I 'Old'

This morning I sent a text to daughter and said "Am I old mentally?"

It's possible to be old in years but not old mentally. Currently I'm surrounded by 'old' people.

I'm dealing with Bob and a sister-in-law on a daily basis that both live in the past and have not updated their thinking in fifty years. Two sister-in-laws have gone into mental care facilities in the last few weeks. I'm getting a lot of reports on them and how they're doing.

While all this is going on my body and my mind have gone to hell in a hand basket. I'm sick of 'old' people.

I need a big spreadsheet posted on a wall where I keep up with Bob's weight (fluid retention), his blood pressure and his meds. For myself I need to be keeping up with what I'm eating, glucose and walking.

Keeping up with my health issues has fallen off the radar screen. I'm currently eating my way to blimp size. Stress will do that to some people. Too bad I'm not in the group that loses weight under stress.

Then I'm reading everywhere that much of this country's problems politically are the result of people wanting to take the country back to what they think was a better time in history.

What's wrong with living in the present, or god forbid, the future?

What keeps people from being able to live in the present and look forward to the future?

What makes some people stop advancing mentally?

I mentioned to my sister-in-law that I did not want my house to look dated therefore I was adding and subtracting a few pieces of furniture and things hanging on the wall. She was clueless. Couldn't imagine why I'd want to do such a thing.

I'm telling you 'old' thinking is fast becoming a serious issue with me.

22 comments:

  1. I know where you're coming from. I see it all the time. Living elderly is bad news. If it helps to change furniture, why not do it?

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    1. People who've ceased to stay abreast of life are a pet peeve of mine. Apparently they have very little curiosity, or at least not enough to keep learning. Somewhere along the way they've stopped. Deliver me from those people.

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  2. I was thinking about this the other day. Because I'm no longer teaching - and therefore with teenagers and younger colleagues - I really pay very little attention to my age since I'm not with people to compare myself to. The secret is probably that I'm healthy and able to get around easily. I just feel like me.

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    1. I didn't think about growing 'old' for a number of years after I retired. I felt good & life went right along. Then we hit a bump. Bob's health failed. I think another factor is our ages. I was an only child born late in my parents lives. My cousins were old enough to be my parents. They're all gone now. Bob is 10 years older than me. When we were young that 10 years made no difference but it makes a difference on this end. I don't want to grow old mentally.

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  3. I think being old mentally can't be solved by changing decor or just stepping away from caregiver responsibilities. To me, it means keeping up on trends in society---the way people think, current fads, current events, politics (though it sucks now), popular entertainment. That doesn't mean you can't enjoy past memories. You just can't live there every day, you have to get new simulation.

    With so much going on in your caregiver life, it's understandable that you're getting stressed. Do you have adult day care where you live, a place where you can leave Bob for the day while you indulge yourself? You may not need it now but it's good to research before you need it. A friend's husband went and loved it, played games with other old men. Here, they charge on a sliding scale.

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    1. We have a senior citizen's center here. We've actually been to visit and he hated it. His happiest time was when he volunteered in the activities part of a care center. He had to quit because his hematologist does not want him exposed to germs & bugs prevalent in those kind of facilities. Neither does he want him spending much time around hospitals for the same reason.

      Thinking old starts early in life apparently when people cease to stay current in all the areas you mentioned. With computers old people of the future will have no excuse to not stay connected to the world.

      Some people apparently suffer from a lack of curiosity that motivates them to continue to learn.

      Some people live only in the present. Bob & my sister-in-law never give thought to tomorrow. They live only in the moment which often lands them in trouble.

      I guess I'm just not one that spends a lot of time thinking about the past. I lived those days once. It's wasted time to relive them again and again. There's much to be said for living in the present with an eye toward the future.

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  4. Pretty sure my body is flat out old but I think my mind is staying current. Or is it that second child hood I hear about?
    Keep learning and exercising the mind and you will stay
    young--ish. Just like physical exercise will keep the body young--ish.

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    1. Absolutely. I'm really out of sorts with old bodies that sit around with long faces bemoaning their situation. I'm also very out of sorts with people wanting to take the country backward.

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  5. I think it is telling that you see the contrast between yourself and others who are stuck in the past. That alone says that you ARE younger mentally. I think you should give yourself a lot of "youth" credit for creating and maintaining this amazing blog :-)

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    1. It's bad enough to be caught in the middle of 'old' thinking people on a daily basis but it alarms me to see how many people are looking back to the past politically rather than planning for the future of our country.

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  6. Hang in there, Linda. I can see why you feel dragged down by oldness, but you are too strong to let that happen, and you are certainly not ready to give in.
    The book I recently read, "The Nordic Theory of Everything" refers frequently to "modernity", something she sees the USA as not keeping up with. We have a whole lot of folks who are afraid of change, and so they try desperately to hang on to some ideal of the past that never really existed. They can be brought along, but only slowly and as they see change in a positive light. I hope we can make that happen.

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    1. I'm sure I'm impatient to see positive changes. I sometimes grow weary trying to move into the future while dragging along the people who want to only live in the past. It's the pits.

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  7. I think I agree with Jean R. I will say that I do love the past.. the music, the clothes, the movies and I appreciate that I was able to live through that era. However, I don't feel like I am a leader or style setter anymore and really I don't want to be. I'm kind of people/society watching for now and enjoying it. I'm not leading the sit-in but I'm watching it. I still read and walk and have hobbies. I also have the problems of an ageing diabetic body. Can't change that so I modify to fit in where I can. You need to watch your diabetes as it is influenced by stress but you probably see that in your readings. I am also a stress eater and I find that under stress I specifically want CHOCOLATE. Which means my diabetes and stress are fighting it out. Don't try to solve what you can't fix. If they are stuck in the past then it is probably their happy place. Your happy place is the future and it's a great place for you to be.

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    1. When you crave chocolate get you a bar of the very dark chocolate, needs to be about 85% or higher, 70% and under is considered candy. You'll have to leave the candy section to find the very dark bars. Eat a square of that and drink a nice up of tea and you'll fell pampered and not blow your glucose reading.

      I'll have to take those that live in the past in small doses. Can't handle too much of that. You're right, most of them can't be changed.

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  8. Ditto about keeping the house up-to-date. I'm one of those who likes to tweak: put on a fresh coat of paint (love to paint), or change a picture, rug or chair. It can always be better. I like living in the present better than the past. This genealogy kick I'm on is taking me back a bit, but I'm enjoying the process.

    I surely do wish I was in that "loses weight under stress" group. Not so for me. Maintaining my weight is the first thing to go when stress knocks on my door.

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    1. Bob always says a blind person couldn't live in my house because I change the furniture too often.

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  9. I agree with Barbara.....perhaps living in the past really IS their happy place!
    LD will soon be 80 and he is a life long learner! Always finding new things and new 'old' songs to sing. He has several computers but insist on an old fashioned flip phone! He marches to his own drummer and is an interesting man. I'll soon be 68 so there's 12 years of age difference but I don't think it shows - at least not yet! Life as we know it can change in the blink of an eye. We try to enjoy every drop of goodness and happiness in each and every day. If things change at some point, at least we will have no regrets!

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    1. I particularly love people that march to a different drum. That's why I love living in Oregon so much. These people definitely march to their own drum beat. I'm thankful I am 10 years younger than Bob. If we were both 84 we'd be in real trouble.

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  10. I was talking last evening with a dear friend who's 88 or so. I told her about the wedding at a residence in my neighborhood a couple of weeks ago. It was a gay wedding. My friend was appalled and explained that at her age, she's not about to change her opinion on that subject. I knew better than to inject my view. I just listened, nodded, and changed the subject as soon as I could.

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    1. You did about all you could do in that situation. When I hear of a situation like that I always think of Barry Goldwater and how he updated his thinking when his grandson announced he was gay.

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  11. I think you need to find some way to get some respite help in the home for YOU. To hell with Bob or anyone else if they don't like it. You need to put on YOUR oxygen mask once in a while to better help others. You need to do things for you, just for you, and not be made to feel guilty for it. At least once in a while, on a regular basis.

    Kudos to you for wanting to stay as young mentally as you can! :)

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  12. I know what you mean and it is something I resist with all my might! My best friend just moved into an independent living complex. I am helping her settle in, but it is so damn depressing. I say a little prayer of gratitude when I see the school bus circle through my condo complex because I think I am still connected to the full range of the life cycle.
    I remember my Aunt Mildred telling me after she insisted on moving out of an assisted living facility, "I hated it there. Everyone was so old. I can't stand to be around all those old people. I am only 82!"
    Embrace your young and vital mind and take care of yourself.

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