Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Friday, August 12, 2016

Sometimes Up and Sometimes Down

Most days I'm up but occasionally that changes. I'm not one to dwell on the past or relive times gone by but this week I've gotten caught in a little of that. From time to time I look around and think "Gee, we're soon going to the the only ones left." I have no family left and I don't spend a lot of time thinking about the deceased.

I think I'm more aware of Bob's family because they're in the process of passing from our lives and sometimes it bothers me. This has been a week that I've been sad. We have an extended family member in the last stages of Alzheimer and it bothers me. I wish her days to be few. A friend has fallen and broken her leg just below the hip joint. She's now healing around screws, bolts and metal plates. Her days of independent living may be over. Then there's always my concern for Bob's twin's wife. I've been very close to her for 54 years and it still bothers me to see her make poor choices. She's living at poverty level income now, and refuses to do anything that might make her health better. You'd think I would have put her aside many years ago but I can't seem to do that. I can't do anything to help her but it still bothers me.

This morning I told Bob we have much to be thankful for in our lives. My goal now is to see that neither of us gets bedfast. I figure if we can stand upright and walk a few steps we'll be okay.

Bob is still able to walk outside some and he's very committed to walking up to get the mail every day, saying he needs to keep moving. Lost words are something he's struggling with and truthfully, it bothers him more than me. He asked daughter, while she was here, if the doctor could give him medicine for it but there's no pill for what ails him, old age. What bothers me more is what I call his 'babbling.' He's a little short on breath at times and doesn't always have enough air to pronounce words clearly, the last syllables often drop off. I suspect his pulmonologist will be able to help that by increasing his COPD medications a little. We'll be checking in with him soon. The grocery store phase has finally passed and that makes me happy. Daughter did take him to Costco while she was here just because she knows how much he enjoys shopping there, but he seldom mentions going to the grocery store anymore.

I've been walking more lately. Exercise is never anything I particularly enjoy doing but the older I get I can see how important it is for my overall health. I have to admit I can see a big improvement when I'm getting in some walking time. I don't like to walk when it's hot, cold or raining so that doesn't leave a lot of days that I enjoy.

I looked over President Obama's summer reading list suggestions and decided I could live without those books. I like to see what others are reading. I suddenly have an abundance of books waiting to be read.  Not sure what frustrates me more, too much to read, or nothing I want to read.

What are you reading this summer?

18 comments:

  1. After years of teaching Good Literature, I now prefer light, upbeat books or a mystery that's not too dark.
    My book club forces me every now and then to read deeper, but then I return to more soothing choices.
    I just finished a Jan Karon book from the Mitford series - the absolute epitome of soothing. And I've been revisiting Alexander McCall Smith's Ladies Detective Agency series.

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    1. I read only nonfiction until about 5 years ago. Now I read a lot of light fiction. I have guilt pangs when I read it but not enough to stop. I always feel like I have to keep learning and I'm always surprised when I learn something from light fiction.

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  2. Could Bob have had a TIA (mini stroke) to explain the changes in his language skills and word recall? I would ask his pulmonologist if what you are describing is common with his patients, or not.

    Some of those books on Obama's reading list are on the list my book club will be reading over this next year. I wouldn't pick them for myself but they will be a good stretch.

    Hope you get your old optimism back soon.

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    1. I really don't think it's a TIA. Doubt there's anything could be done if it was. He's already on blood thinners, and high blood pressure is certainly not the problem.

      We did FaceTime with the Alzheimer's patient and her family. It really upset me. I guess I'm surprised it bothered me so much.

      I'm not good in book clubs because I'm not disciplined enough to force myself to read something that doesn't interest me.

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  3. Linda, I have some of Bob's problems. Losing my words is so frustrating for me. Hearing is another problem that is becoming worse and worse. These are things I expected of old age - but when did 66 become old age. It makes me sad.

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    1. My dear, your diabetes is not a kind partner in life. So sorry you're having to spend your life with that and all its complications.

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  4. I was lucky that my dad's Alzheimer's took him relatively quickly. His (/the family's) suffering for it was short. It's such a tragic disease. Of course having to face it square in the face this week, with a few other loved ones' own ills...would make anyone a little blue. :: hugs ::

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    1. I don't do this often. If I hadn't done FaceTime I would have been all right.

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  5. I thought this was a most interesting interview with J.D.Vance, the author of "Hillbilly Elegy." I've not read the book yet, but between what you said, and this interview, I believe I'll make time for it.

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    1. I think Hillbilly Elegy is a wonderful book and should be required reading for anyone seeking to better understand what's going on in America today.

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  6. Whether we like it or not, it is normal to have the odd down day. It feels much better once that down day is over. however, we have to be realistic and look at our situation. We are old!

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    1. Yes, we are growing old. Most of the time that doesn't bother me because I try to surround myself with younger people but this week it bothered me.

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  7. I've got a few books lined up on my Kindle:

    Off Script by Josh King who is an "Advance Man" who orchestrates campaigns, stage crafting etc. I'm fascinated by the behind the scenes people of political campaigns. I think they tell the real story.

    The Science of Aging Well by Mark Williams MD. A physicians guide to a healthy mind, body and spirit.

    The Founding Brothers by Joseph Ellis. 1790 - 1800 The fragility of our nation at that time and the challenges of the political leaders of this time.

    I'm glad that you are trying to keep physically active Linda. It is hard to get through those sad times. I find that when I focus on others it helps me to get through those down in the dumps kind of days. Sending hugs!

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    1. I downloaded 'Off Script' to my Kindle. It sounds interesting. I'll check on 'The Founding Brothers" to see what I think about it. Yes, thinking of others in always a good way to bring yourself out of the dumps.

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  8. It is a bit scary and lonely when you realize you are at the top of the living family tree. Still it beats being around the roots.
    I am glad you are exercising and hope you can get Bob to try also. It really does make a difference. Sometimes when the weather is icky, I go to Walmart and walk briskly around the store only half ways shopping for about an hour or so. Yeah, I know--- the dreaded store-- but it can also be a tool and is cool and dry. Just take the basket so you don't impulse buy--my weakness.

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    1. We don't have inside malls around here but I could do the Walmart walk. My only objection to walking in those kind of stores is the floors are slick as glass. Makes me very nervous about falling.

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  9. I read mostly light fiction now. I like mysteries and 'who done its." I belonged to a book club for awhile and read a number of books that I never would have chosen. It forced me to stretch a little, but I'm content to read mainly for pleasure nowadays.

    Truer words have never been spoken, "stand upright and walk a few steps." That's what it's all about. When my father could no longer walk after a stroke, I received a quick lesson in the importance of being able to stand upright and walk a few steps. I moved in with him and became his caregiver. Getting to the bathroom and taking care of your own business is a big deal.

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  10. I just finished "The Girl on the Train", and before that, "The Nightingale" and "All the Light We Cannot See".

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