Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Who Writes This Stuff

Every day I'm more convinced that the people writing about aging are themselves young and have no experience. Do you know of any other field who seeks people with no experience to write articles? This is one area where 'book learnin' is not enough.

Had a call from one of the medical offices where Bob is a patient. Nice friendly voiced young woman says she's calling to make sure when I prepare Bob's meals I'm covering half his plate in colorful fresh vegetables. Now you can just imagine what I thought about that.

Try Try Again
I seem to be doing a lot of this. Remember daughter and I recently purchased a new recliner for Bob that we were sure met his needs perfectly? It didn't.

First it was the headrest. He didn't like how that fit. I've tried every little pillow and bean bag in this house and nothing has pleased him. He rejected a travel neck pillow without even trying. Too hot he said. This morning we had a lesson on how to flip one so the part that goes around your neck sticks out behind and you're only using the center back. It's a nice pillow filled with little squishy beads of stuff that allows him to adjust it's thickness. We'll see if that works.

Then there's the matter of the electric switch that daughter and I thought would be so good for him, not. He has Raynaud's so his fingers are so cold they're dark blue a lot of the time. I'm sure this affects the feeling in the tips of his fingers.

On the side of the chair is a round flat switch. Touch one side to recline, the other side to raise the chair upright. A small ridge separates the two sections. He doesn't feel the ridge. This morning I was rummaging around looking for a stray piece of velcro or anything I could stick on one side that I thought had enough texture he could feel the difference and aid in adjusting his chair.

That resolved I watched him and he fumbles around a lot just trying to find the switch because it lies flat against the chair. Hmmm, have to think on that one a while. I'll sic daughter on that one when she comes later this week.
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I'm sure you've noticed this blog has become part of my therapy. I suspect this is going to go on for a while. If you know this kind of situation will not be in your future you may choose to read other more interesting blogs. If, however, the possibility exists this type thing could be in your future you might want to read along. Perhaps it will provide some answers for when it happens to you.

23 comments:

  1. Something I can relate to - Raynaud's. The first time I experienced the black fingers - I couldn't feel texture at all, be it velvet, cold smooth steel, or sandpaper. DH took me to the ER! I since, have this occur in my hands and feet with so sense of anything on their touch. Hence the moccasins - seems my feet are cold all the time and they do get deep purple to black. Thought the mocs would help with that. I could pitch snowballs or walk on coals and not feel a thing. I seriously doubt I would feel ridges on some small button. How large is the button? Big enough to glue or afix something large enough that could be distinguished on the up and down areas? (Something he could grab hold of?) So sorry this is one of his problems, confusion isn't helping, I know. Perhaps you could write to the manufacturer for some kind of help - maybe a larger button? It may have to be jury rigged ...

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    1. You describe the Raynaud's experience perfectly. He only has it in his hands. For you I would suggest wool socks worn with fleece lined moccasins. All can be purchased from our friend Amazon.

      I purchased a Zippo hand warmer for Bob that you add lighter fluid. Drops in a little velvet bag. Warms for hours and can be dropped in your pocket. (Amazon)

      He has light weight gloves designed so he can still use his iPhone or iPad.

      Ordered a hand warmer about the size of an iPhone that charges like an iPhone. (Amazon)

      This week at the hematologist a volunteer had made the neatest little hand warmers. Small little bags about 2X2 filled with rice. Pop them in the microwave for a few seconds and they're great. Cheap too, they were free.

      I'm always on the hunt.

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  2. So glad you are writing Linda. I really enjoy your blog. I know what you mean; it really is part therapy to put our thoughts and feelings in writing. So keep on writing! We feel like we know each other after a while, and it's kind of nice to know there is someone out there listening and caring.

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    1. You like to hope you're passing on some information that may be helpful to someone else. Surely we don't need to be reinventing the wheel for every person who finds themselves in this position.

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  3. I actually started blogging when I was in your caregiver situation with my husband...back in 2001 and for years I was an almost daily blogger. It helps ENORMOUSLY to have a place to work out all the little and not so little issues that come up, some you don't even know are frustrating us until you write them down. I see so much of myself in you, in your desire to make things easier for Bob, in your desire to keep your sense of humor. Some things work, some don't but in the end you will never, ever have a day of regret that you didn't at least try.

    It's too bad the chair buttons are ones he can't see. My solution to a lot of things was red fingernail polish. LOL Having Raynaud's I can sympathize. I tend to drop a lot of things because I can't feel how much pressure I'm using or not.

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    1. Just read S.J. post above where she mentioned 'jury rigging' the buttons and that reminded me that I had called Laz-a-Boy about my husband's chair. Their serviceman came out and put the buttons on a cord so the buttons could be moved from one side to the other.

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    2. Good idea about jury rigging the recliner button and super good idea about contacting the company. I shall look into that. Excellent idea.

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  4. I enjoy reading your posts, Linda. I don't plan to go elsewhere for my reading. I know your current situation is not easy, and I am learning from it. I appreciate your willingness to share .

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    1. I would be sorry to lose you as a reader. I think of you as a friend. We've been blogging friends a log time.

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  5. Linda, I enjoy reading your posts. You have come up with some good, helpful ideas, plus you write very well.

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    1. Thank you. Every bit of encouragement helps.

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  6. You tell a story that many will have to experience. You use good humor along the way. My wife has Raynauds and it's difficult.

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    1. Raynaud's is a pesky problem. I wish none of us had to go through these things as we age but we're kidding ourselves if we think we won't.

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  7. I have to confess that I get aggravated at Bob's seemingly demanding issues. I'm not sure I would have your patience or caring spirit. But love does make a difference.

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    1. Even my own daughter tells me he is spoiled. Probably true but she helped. My friends often said he was controlling. Probably so. At this point I've lived with it 54 years. Probably too late for me to make a lot of changes. Perhaps I didn't start him off right all those years ago.

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  8. I will also continue reading even though the sad fact is that I will most likely be the next one in my family to be in need of such caregiving. That's one thing you never know for sure and it also doesn't necessarily skip over youth either. Your ability to approach things with a problem solving attitude is what hooks me.

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    1. That's me, the problem solver. I figure there's a solution to most every situation. You just have to find it.

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  9. I read this aloud to Louis Dean and I thought he had an interesting slant.....
    Let him figure out things for himself! Provide a few tools or options and go on about your business and see if he will find what works!
    You truly are a problem solver and that's very admirable! If Bob can solve a problem or two on his own, perhaps that would empower him! At any rate.....write on! We will all be there one day sooner or later in whole or in part! Better learn from someone who's been there ahead of us!
    That reminds me......LD says how in the world do these 20 year old tv news/business/political people think we are going to believe what they say with being so young and not even knowing life as we knew it to be!! Everyone's an expert on everything these days - if they are young and photogenic! LD calls them Barbie Dolls!!

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  10. I agree with LD. I'll talk to Bob and see if he has any ideas about fixing the chair switch problem, then I'll get him some tools. However the other day I asked him to put at wire through a hole and make a loop I could put a hook in to hang my rolling pin in the pantry. I laid the rolling pin, the wire and the wire cutters in front of him. He could not do it. I finally said "Let's see if this will work" and fixed it myself. So different than how things used to be. I long for a Walter Cronkite these days. Trust is what we're missing.

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  11. A thought about the chair. What about glue on nail polish on one side of the switch. If that side were a little bit built up or lumpy, maybe he could fee the difference.

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  12. glue or nail polish - although maybe the two together would also work.

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    1. I actually found something from my scrapbooking days. I think they're called glue dots or something like that. I just peeled two of them off the paper and stuck them on one half of the switch. It made two raised dots sufficient for the job.

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  13. When I was my father's caregiver, his chair was a huge deal. When his old one finally went kaput, we got him a new one and it never quite suited him. I think it was too big. He was a big guy, but I think his new chair was a bit overkill. The controls were on a control "stick" that he could hold in his hand. He gave it a workout, changing the position every twenty or thirty minutes. I think it made him feel in control. He had so little in other areas.

    I kept a blog back then, and I wrote almost every day. It saved me. It helps to get it all out, and you will help others.

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