Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Friday, June 10, 2016

Peeping Under New Leaves


Look at this guy. What's not to love about him? Every medical office we visited yesterday doted on him something wonderful. I wouldn't dare mention him being a problem at times. Who would believe me?

Yesterday's events left me peeping under new leaves to see if I can find one worth turning over. I read an interesting quote on Twitter.

"I'd like to get away from earth awhile. And then come back to it and begin again."
--Robert Frost

That thought is appealing to me. Perhaps if I could leave earth for a while I could get a better handle on my current situation.

Yesterday revealed new deficits. Taking medication is going to require my supervision. He's always done all that himself. Spent a lot of time yesterday working up a sheet of all his medications with instructions for taking them. Labeled all the pill bottles in language I thought he could understand better. Not sure if I did all that for him or for myself.

Remember my 'Come to Jesus' talk about grocery shopping? I believe this is the first time I've ever delivered one of those that was completely ignored.
Monday - Walmart Grocery
Tuesday - Costco
Wednesday - Safeway
Thursday - Walmart Grocery
Apparently those talks don't work anymore. I'm going to have to find a new mousetrap.

Now inventorying all the groceries we've laid in here these last few weeks. Think it's time to land this plane. Time to start talking him down from all these trips to the grocery store. When I have a good grasp on what's in the pantry and refrigerator I'll be in a better space to resist another run to the store.

21 comments:

  1. I know it would be a whole lot of work on your part, but maybe if you piled all of the groceries on his bed ... Silly, I know. I'm grasping at straws here. The only other thing I can think of - is to throw a hissy fit. It would probably not have the impact you'd want on someone with dementia. I thought there were a lot of store trips lately. DH does a lot of shopping too - at least I am not required to go along. DH is bored - maybe Bob is too - no computer games he likes?

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    1. Boredom is a problem. Men who have no hobbies find themselves in a bad spot as they age. He doesn't read, or play games of any kind. Watches a little TV and buys groceries, that's it.

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  2. Irrationality is a very difficult condition to accept. There is very little that works with irrationality. Sorry to be so black. It is what it is. You are looking at it the right with ...with a sense of humor. A hissy fit would be a disaster.

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    1. No, a hissy fit would be harmful to both of us. Tonight I worked with him on filling his pill box for the week. It was a challenge but all I could do was remain calm and keep talking until we finally got the task completed. It breaks my heart to see him so confused.

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  3. Well, I'm thinking you are going to have to resign yourself to going shopping. Maybe bob can help with the inventory and then he can help make a list based on want vs need. Then you can designate shopping for fun or shopping because you need stuff. Somehow you are going to need to find a way to enjoy this a bit.
    And yes, I can see that along with it all being frustrating, it is heartbreaking. That is what makes it so hard, isn't it.

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    1. Yes it is very hard because you want so bad to make their life as good as possible and yet it's impossible to know what that might be.

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  4. Boy, am I glad Ken has numerous hobbies. I never know if he's in his workshop, in the garage, or in the basement, and a phone call for him keeps me running to figure out where he is, but at least he's busy somewhere and not bugging me! The days must be long for anyone without hobbies.

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    1. Absolutely, you should be grateful Ken has hobbies. I seriously doubt he'll experience dementia. I keep looking for ways to stimulate Bob and keep him from getting bored and then I remember he chose this patch as a young person. He's never been interested in learning and stimulating his brain. He's probably very happy with nothing to do but it would drive me crazy.

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  5. It sure sounds like Bob loves to get out of the house and go shopping, whether anything is needed or not. I wonder if there would be a volunteer in the area that would be agreeable to taking him on a weekly shopping outing? This would give you a break, and Bob would likely look forward to spending some time with someone "new".

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    1. One thing I haven't tried is walking through antique stores that have a lot of old kitchenware. He used to enjoy that. I know where two are located so we may take a little ride to those.

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  6. Aww, he is adorable. You will continue to get through with your sense of humor and love and deep down grace of strength. It's never easy.

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    1. It isn't easy but it's a lot better than not having him. He is never ugly or short tempered. He tells me often that he loves me and appreciates what I do for him.

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  7. What about breaking up the trips to the grocery store with trips to hardware stores or antique stores? I think antique stores are great places for older people to go because there are so many memory triggers.

    If you can afford it, you could also destine one day a week to shopping for a food pantry donation and then another day, go drop off the donation. That way you won't have so much food in the house going to waste. You could also do what I used to do with my husband: when Bob isn't looking return some of the stuff he buys back to the shelves. Some fights and disagreements aren't worth picking when the other person is in the beginning stages of dementia.

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    1. As I commented earlier I have remembered 2 antique stores near us that I plan to take him to. He doesn't care about old tools, farm equipment etc, but he loves old kitchen things.

      I've also decided he's not as easily bored as I am. I may well be pushing things on him he doesn't want.

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  8. Your hubby looks like a very sweet man. Good luck with the medications....it's hard to be a caregiver to a loved one isn't it?

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    1. I feel better now about the medications since I spent time figuring it all out. Caring for a loved one is a little like being screwed in a vice. Every day offers a new challenge until you feel like you're being screwed into a vice.

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  9. I imagine many of your readers, like me, wish they could come up with a solution to some of your conundrums. I do think Jean R.'s idea of shopping, then donating, to a food pantry is inspired.

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    1. Yes, that's an excellent idea. I've decided I have to establish some boundaries. I've got to make a big change in realizing he no longer knows how to schedule time. I'm up tight when I spend all my time trying to keep him entertained while knowing there are household things I need to be doing at home. I need to establish the boundaries that all me time for him but also time for managing a house and all that goes with that.

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  10. Linda, have you looked into adult daycare as a possibility? He would meet new people to talk to and have activities to occupy him. I had to resort to that with my mother, it helped for a while. Just a thought.

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    1. I have that in my mind as a possible option. I'm spreading the net pretty wide now to see what's available for his situation. He's beginning to get a little self conscious because he forgets words enough that it's beginning to affect his conversational skills.

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    2. It is a difficult situation, I've been down this road with my mother and so I understand the difficult choices that you are facing. The bottom line is that it is all based on love and you will come through it, but it isn't easy. (Sorry if I am being too blunt.)

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